em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠

if you see a stupid checkmark next to my name PLEASE understand that I’m only paying to keep my bookmark-folders-obsessed OCD happy (@shelldashing on IG)

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

I'm extremely grateful that spiders don't scream back.

[mariana Z @mariana057]

I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."

Then I said: "Turn left here."

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

@DavidKister1 tell me about it 😑

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

no honey that’s a triple

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

@tjchambersLA I don’t know what to tell you, teej 😬

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

sorry I never saw this one til just now so

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

@DavidKister1

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

whoops I meant violently violet 😛

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

not *my* fault these violet delights have such violetly violent ends 😇😈🔥

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

just imagine how spectacularly exhausting being this queen’s alter-ego must have been for the poor soul who was assigned that sorry task

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

“come collaborate with us, it’ll be fun and we swear on our lives we’ll never tell you anyone were involved,” they giggled just before injecting the cocaine

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

cause of divorce: https://t.co/u12qteLrkN

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

@DavidKister1

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

hate when I get so high my amygdala starts trying to rewrite the barbie movie

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

not *my* fault these violet delights have such violetly violent ends 😇😈🔥

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

maybe it’s time for a wonder woman who masturbates while she flies

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

imagine literally being “american horror story”

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

big mistake, sweetie

[Marilyn Monroe @MarilynMonroe]

“I daydream chiefly about beauty. I dreamed of myself becoming so beautiful that people would turn to look at me when I passed.”

📸: #MiltonHGreene

#MarilynMonroe #Icon #Quote #Daydream #Beautiful

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

yay 💊💊💊

[Jim Halpert, Dunder Mifflin (Parody) @JimHalpert__]

IT’S HERE

[The Office Quotes @TheOffice___]

I don’t care what I get for Christmas as long as it’s wrapped in this 🤣🤣

get it here —> https://t.co/TKz91NCS5A https://t.co/ALzZO2GbtO

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

@actual_farmer lololol 😒

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

just whispered, “oh, what a dangerous creature you are” to myself, how many nails should I swallow

[em dash, pharm.d., et al, etc 🫀🔥🧠 @shelldash]

I hope people who had to deal with me in public over the last couple of years understand how hard it was for me to stand still while most of them were talking to me