on one hand, things are looking up. your eyeball that was falling out last week is now almost fully healed. you get 3 meals a day and a warm bed. but on the other hand, you’ve developed a stupid little cowlick. so who’s to say really
me: "hey it's kinda rude to peer into other people's shopping cart and make comments on their purchases. do you enjoy it when people are all up in your business?"
5yo: "yes? I like attention."
“I’m not going to legalize marijuana in Texas. And if people want to vote me out of office for that, so be it.”
Well Lt. Dan, we heard you loud and clear 🤘🤘🍃
"Donald, look, I know you struggled with my name. So, after JD swears me in in January, you can just go on and call me senator." ABDUL EL-SAYED IS A LION.
For the first time in US history, a gay man, a Black woman, a Muslim, Native American woman, Palestinian, and Latina have won their respective midterm elections.
“Stop being so political.” Babe, I would LOVE to go back to painting flowers and talking to the moon, but apparently basic human rights are still up for debate.