🤦🏻‍♀️

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

Not me eating ice cream and then crying 10 minutes later cause I have a tummy ache.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

I wanna know why the UK gets the better book covers. I’m over here shopping @Waterstones and paying international shipping for A BOOK I ALREADY HAVE. Those covers are just so much better though.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

Imagine spending forever on a kidney transplant list and you end up with mine after I die because I’m an organ donor. I’m sorry.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

I feel like this girl at work is trying to be my friend and she said it was a shame that we couldn’t car pool today since we live so close to each other and I said, “Maybe the next funeral.” And she didn’t say anything and just left. So I think I ruined it.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

Kill me, honestly.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

Not a single person. Not the line of people behind you waiting to be helped and definitely not the person asking you.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

Today kicked my ass so hard that I’ve literally just been laying in bed and staring at the ceiling for the last 2 1/2 hours trying to figure out what just happened to me.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

Also the next time you go to your doctor’s office and there’s one person running the entire office and they ask what your name is, if you say literally anything other than your name, nobody is laughing.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

@DermotKennedy 21 days until Irving, Tx! 🙌🏻

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

@ me next time

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

One day you’re young and clueless and the next you’re standing in the front yard nodding at the rain mumbling “we needed this.”

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

16 days until @Coheed

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

Overheard from the man talking to another man while they casually watch their kids play at the park: “If God could give me tits, I’d be a Christian.”

What???

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

I can’t believe people still drive around to look at tornado damage. Stay the fuck out of those areas unless you live there. What is wrong with you?

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

Always hike with proper supplies and equipment.
Remember, flippy floppies may lead to slippy sloppies.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

@RussellWWarren @patriottakes Russel, your mother should have swallowed.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

@jamesYCinman Sold

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

I’m really excited to see my nephew tomorrow.

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

@jamesYCinman

[🤦🏻‍♀️ @shiiitzweak]

I need a crafty friend and a glue gun.