A-Shin

[A-Shin @shiin]

2008年就註冊的Twitter重新上線😎

[A-Shin @shiin]

http://t.co/huS1D1qpXG My number one rule to live by is: Don't die.

[A-Shin @shiin]

http://t.co/QL7RrHSyUN Hey, the army. Camouflage your helicopters blue, not green. You're fucking welcome.

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Prison guard is a pretty good job. Who's going to steal a prison. http://t.co/Ljb1uIFMwt

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http://t.co/fMYSNv1cGn FACT: If you don't own a suit, you get to stay in your twenties forever.

[A-Shin @shiin]

http://t.co/CunClJp9fN HELP ME I'M CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE nevermind I'm good.

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Nothing says "I'm single" like a string cheese wrapper in the bathroom trash can. http://t.co/exCvwsYcSI

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Life is more exciting when you're out there living it. I read that somewhere. http://t.co/umZt3lVy4n

[A-Shin @shiin]

http://t.co/ns3CFePCb0 Ceilings were just ambitious walls.

[A-Shin @shiin]

http://t.co/yRK4APtAVu If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many.

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No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/Xaf81K8Sb2

[A-Shin @shiin]

http://t.co/GW7eMk9sxX Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass.

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I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/5JEbNKgmk7

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How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence? http://t.co/sJTYs5Fbkk

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Matthew McConaughey is for Matthew McConaughorses http://t.co/TzzuFhjU

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http://t.co/MkiypHMB If I was an Oreo, how would you eat me? Wrong. It's a trick question. People can't be Oreos.

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Republicans seek to re-brand poverty as a lifestyle choice. http://t.co/vAxfLPLP

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If I had an ice cream truck, it would turn into a regular truck in about a half hour. http://t.co/Eg2fLkX9

[A-Shin @shiin]

I'm wearing this hipster's carcass ironically. http://t.co/t2FgJSk7

[A-Shin @shiin]

http://t.co/vYRPw4kL Chick in front of me has 'Charley Horse' tattooed down the back of her leg. Cramp stamp.