girl, online

tough crowd

[Kar @karlogan_]

But when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock they acted like comedy was under attack for 365 business days

[𝓓𝓪 𝓖𝓵𝓸𝓬𝓴 𝓞𝓫𝓪𝓶𝓪 ⋆˚✿˖° @MySkinIsBeamin]

A man came to my job today, and he got his gf $700 worth of makeup and perfume, and when she said it was too much he said “it’s whatever you want princess, you know that.” Now what if I had just k*lled myself in front of them. then what???

[Peter TOTO💜 @petermarietoto]

on the bright side its a 70 degree day in november so we might not even live through this administration

[Katherine Krueger @kath_krueger]

maybe, just maybe, the democrats should try offering voters a vision of the future or any value proposition besides not being the other guy. just a thought

[em ⭑ @jetsetvamp]

all i can say is live. you have to live. if you’re trans, queer, a woman, bipoc, disabled, an immigrant: you must live. we have to support each other. we have to be visible and loud if and when we can. and above all else we have to live

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

Many people will continue struggling to come to terms with the election results, but there’s still a lot you can do:

1) Be irritable at work
2) Withdraw from people who love you/need you
3) Make an impulsive and self destructive major life decision

[KNICKS IN 5💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡 @alsostephenking]

sleepy joe you’ve got two months. go crazy. eliminate all student debt. legalize marijuana. make tampons and condoms free. ban cybertrucks. shit in the oval office’s air vent. kidnap barron. the world is your oyster buddy

[Elamin Abdelmahmoud @elamin88]

if you’re in bed stay in bed

[Megan Beth Koester @bornferal]

If you’re waiting in line to walk into the Pacific Ocean with rocks in your pockets, STAY IN LINE

[Luke @mothrasattorney]

They’re defrosting

[sarah @heavenbrat]

they hate when u serve sexy bad bitch while being a lil odd and weird

[Abby @iHave_Powers]

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me 6 Years ago. Never be Relaxed ever. I’m coming

[mariah @killmeorshutup]

an ugly man serial liking your instagram stories feels like being chased in the woods

[Emma Szewczak @EmmaSzewczak]

Hmm I wonder which is better, either a man having a minimally invasive 20 min vasectomy under local anaesthetic that comes with a recovery time of 1 day or a woman having major abdominal surgery under general anaesthetic that takes a month to recover from. Impossible to say!