uarmyhope

𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒏 ; 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒏

[eli @lvxeli]

signed,
the eldest daughter

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

Loving you is a losing game

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

How can you say you love someone you can't tell is dying? You're the poison I took and wishing that would end my suffering soonest.

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

It turns into something bigger, something that makes me feel suffocated by just thinking of it. Something that makes my stomach turn in disgust of how far I did let it be. It's like the snakes in my dream going to me and biting in every part they can.

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

What did I bring myself into? I don't wanna think with my heart as it'll just appear right but if I rationally think about it and how my loved ones visualize it, it's not right. Who do I choose? Should I follow my heart? Or do the parents know the best option? I'm so lost.

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

I know what to do but it seems so hard to just walk to that choice. Everyday you'll think that it'll end and will change but it all ends up the same the more it keeps on pushing you to that path

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

I don't know what to do anymore

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

“you kept doing it because you knew I always had a soft spot for you and wouldn’t give up on you”

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

I love him but how long can I take the painful words? How far can I degrade myself and beg for his love to be as unconditional as mine? Is love really that shallow that it's easy to say he's done with me just because I wanna feel how far his love can go?

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

It's surreal how fast my heartbeat is when I saw the lines on it. No regrets but the fear of things changing and how I should take things in the future. How in just a year a lot happened and will end like this. Am I ready? Am I gonna be okay? Am I responsible enough for it?

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

Where will I stand if I bend my own limits to everything. Is love enough to turn back to your own limits

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

There's a difference between loving someone because you need them and loving someone because you want to. It's a love between the selfless and the selfish it'll be a torture to one and a convenience to the other.

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

Am I putting myself at the edge again???? Now I'm alarmed too much indeed kills

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

Too much excess baggage...

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

I'm scared idk if I'm doing things right or not

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

They said things that happen fast are also being taken easily. Everything's quite scary but I'm not scared to take risks. Something that I should be bothered by but I'm not even alarmed. Idk where's this going to bring me into but I'm on it

[uarmyhope @shinnie_22]

Idk what I'm doing anymore