ben

Married. Not everything I tweet is true. Funny peculiar, rather than funny ha ha. be real or

[ben @shipbutty]

Only Jessica Fletcher knows

[ben @shipbutty]

@TraffordCouncil @OneTrafford any update on this second time I've reported this so waited 2 lots of 28 days
CAS-21323-N3G8 (Amey:05017672 )

[ben @shipbutty]

@NandosUK hello, just got home after collection order and loads missing, your website just comes up with an error when I use contact us

[ben @shipbutty]

Would be good if you emptied the ones reported, you have a 28 day sla and still not done this one on your new walking route CAS-16135-L3F0

[One Trafford @OneTrafford]

🌧️ It wouldn’t be Manchester without a bit of rain! With the showers rolling in, our teams are out keeping drains and gullies flowing smoothly. No puddle too big, no blockage too tough! ☔🚛

See how we maintain Trafford gullies 👉https://t.co/xDdd5ibMYE

[ben @shipbutty]

Peach top under my shirt, everyone double taking because they thought I was topless/exposing my man clevage

[ben @shipbutty]

Geo guesser taking the Mick. Trapped in a homemade street view with 3 pictures in an empty hospital (in Berlin)

[ben @shipbutty]

Remember to put your clocks forward one hour tonight. The old adage spring back, fall forward helps you get this right twice a year.

[ben @shipbutty]

As if I'd need a special kit!

[ben @shipbutty]

I watch a lot of action flicks and the image of navy seals and green berets are not like the real world.

[ben @shipbutty]

Every time I click on a Manchester evening news @MENnewsdesk link. Some ads move stuff or cause an error, the clickbaity bastards.

[ben @shipbutty]

@StevenOakes Bargain

[ben @shipbutty]

@StevenOakes Can I have your autograph/ a selfie https://t.co/OlYQli8eK6

[Keiran Goddard @keirangoddard1]

Places like Center Parcs are wild

You walk around and think:

“hmm,quite nice to have amenities”

…then you realise Britain has made visiting a miniature place with functional civic infrastructure a holiday destination

We pay to live like a Danish person for a week, basically

[The Grocer @TheGrocer]

Co-op to “turbo-charge” its #retailmedia offering

It will install hundreds of front of store digital screens at its highest footfall locations
https://t.co/I4kpUuxGCu

[ben @shipbutty]

@WorldFamousHot1 It's just cheese on toast with ketchup underneath instead of on top.

[ben @shipbutty]

I've given up October for alcohol

[ben @shipbutty]

Aside we do.
We have bees that make jam not honey and we drive on the right, we also had bands in the 1980s and 1990s that had up to 4 top 20 hits

[ben @shipbutty]

Meet the amenity seekers👀

[ben @shipbutty]

@R_o_M I'd equate it to teams at bottom of the table, utd all these players but no goalscorer so get punished if they squander chances. The top teams have at least one 15-20 goal a season player. We have wingers who can provide assists and occasionally cut in for curlers, that's it

[ben @shipbutty]

Also they've signed half the Dutch league and we all know that even the best team in Netherlands would probs be championship at best so it's best can be expected

[ben @shipbutty]

It's all very much bants trolling united with Southgate announcements but you won't be laughing when it all turns to a puddle of beige.