ShitMichelleSays

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

I'm laughing so hard no sound is coming out, just noise. #shitmichellesays

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

Dana looks like someone who could deep throat #shitmichellesays

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

Have you heard of those vagina cup things? There's only 2 sizes, small and large. What if your vagina is just average #shitmichellesays

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

If I had a big hairdo I would hide snacks in it to eat later #shitmichellesays

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

Ah there's an ant on me, it's a good thing I'm not black or it would be really hard to see them on me

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

When I get blackheads I think it's just my blackness is showing

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

My life would be complete if I met/was followed by @azizansari and/or @prattprattpratt #parksandrecobsessed #funniestmenalive

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

What colors make green? I honestly don't know #notanartist #itsnormal #accountingmajor #myroommatesthinkimdumb

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

I think out of all our friends @LanieRobinson would be the ideal audience for 50 shades of gray

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

I want all my friends to do a pole dancing class. Like what people do for bachelorette parties, but just for fun

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

Does anyone feel like one of your boobs always hurts? My left one does

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

If I were in a relationship I wouldn't try to look good. Actually I don't try anyways... That's probably why I'm single.

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

Me: "Turn here at the green thing." My roommate: "The traffic light?" #yathatswhatisaid

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

My roommate's dog looks like Bruce Jenner @loneill4

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

Do they make Russian mail order husbands? If so, what is the website?

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

I bet Ferguson, MO's Craigslist is really good right now.

[ShitMichelleSays @shitdamsays]

It would be a lot less gross if she could penetrate him. The thought of him penetrating her is awful #shitmichellesays