Shit Guys Say

Wait, so you're mad?

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Trying to get drunk enough to have sex with a vegan.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

You should practice cooking in my kitchen.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

I only need 2 channels - ESPN and ESPN2.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

I wish there was a boner emoji.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Well you're overreacting but sorry.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Are you into butt stuff?

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Did you see the game last night?

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Tinder in suburbia is fucking horrifying.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

I do not understand how you can watch that housewives shit all day.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Ok you definitely can't get Ebola from blow jobs

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Why does your shirt say PINK when it's grey?

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Cool and hipster don't belong in the same sentence.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

It's weird to see the bottom of my sink.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

I'm too high to make sense right now.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Can we talk about this later?

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

I think the chick I'm talking to on tinder might be a hooker.

[The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian]

'Let's go see that Megan Fox movie with the turtles in it.' -Men

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

I miss being single.

[Shit Guys Say @shitguyssay]

Pants are optional when you're a hero. #ConanTheBarbarian