Jared Talks

spooky

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

Fuck you I’m the most pleasant person on this bus

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I’d be nice to strippers. They’d like me.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I convinced myself that my throat was Lou Gehrig's disease. Didn’t have trouble swallowing though so figured it’s alright.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

There’s a really hot def girl on TikTok. I think about her a lot. If she got really mad at me it wouldn’t affect me at all.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I hate everything but vodka

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

Ugh of course you miss radio shack. Just go to Little Cesar’s instead.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I don’t have friends at home. I love it.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I bet it’d be really easy to date someone who’s def

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

If I was bi I would definitely prefer women

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I’m 28. It’s all reruns from here.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

Garlic sticks? Oh it’s gonna get bad.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

If it’s not double stuffed I don’t fuck with it

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I’m a nice guy. People like being around me. What can I say? Are you gonna tell me I’m wrong? Yeah I thought so.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I like my steaks well done. It feels more dead, which is what I want.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I watched ET once as a kid. It scared the shot out of me. I wished the alien would die the whole time.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

(Watching The Bros. Landreth) This sounds like if the wiggles were a blues trio.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

My piss was lime green, so figured it was time to drink a bottle of water

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

You guys aren’t gonna believe me but I had a dream two days ago that Red Bull came out with a Chicken Parmesan flavor. Swear to God.

I was running from the cops for some reason, ran into a gas station, and there it was.

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

Wait I know what a panini is!!! It’s an Italian dessert right?

[Jared Talks @shitjaredsay]

I accidentally ate tofu once