ShitLisaLSays

Lisa's wise words at school - recorded by 2nd parties

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Today I listened to the prof talk about special relativity and I grew another pimple." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

Hiking:
"I did the deep cove."
Friend: how deep did you go?? #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

Dancing at the club:
"OKAY, I DID twerk. But I tried to be civilized." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Why would I meet [his parents] so early?"
So his parents don't think you're a slut?
"I wish I was that cool." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Damn Kim K's highlighters brighter than my future." #shitlisalsays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

On #boyfriend ethnicity preference:
"Same lul if they ain't yellow they ain't mellow" #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Wtf Ok I'll only have sex to reproduce then" #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

On raising her kids:
"But first gotta find the sperm provider" #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"I told you... my butthole's made outta gold." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"She was a fob. She couldn't pronounce words. See, I can pronounce r's. Arrrr." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Always pads give me a rash. Stayfree is like sitting on a cloud. Whoooo. They should sponsor me." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"If I could take myself to jail, I would. ...Taking everything for granted." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"You're at a pH 12 right now." #basic #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Don't try to be black when you can't even be white." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Every month, women lose a potential baby. Like, holy shit. Really, women are so strong. I should be a feminist." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Should I be a dental assistant? Then I can marry a dentist. Dreaming big." #shitlisasays #instantpromotion #sleepingwiththeboss

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Has is singular. Have is multiple." #plural
#shitlisasays #esl #gobacktotheisland #butshesacanadiannow

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

Goes on rant about oily hair.
"....GOD, DO YOU EVEN MATH. JEEZ." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

"Koerner is a dark place." #shitlisasays

[ShitLisaLSays @shitlisalsays]

At Irving:
"Just go into an (occupied) meeting room. If they ask, just say, 'I pay for tuition, too.'" #shitlisasays