Shit Mom Never Said

my mama never said dis doe

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

@myfeldman @pilargonz25 oops looked like I'm logged on as shit ma never said

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

@myfeldman
@pilargonz25 you are dead to me

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

If I had a dollar for every time I considered aborting you..

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

Middle school doesn't actually matter

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

I accept you for who you are

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

Jimmy John's over Subway any day

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

I understood what you meant the first time

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

I heard you the first time

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

Works better if you snort it

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

I know where I put my glasses

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

What's Bravo?

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

It wasn't on sale

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

Have kids

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

Taste > nutrition

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

You're probably going to end up fat like me

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

Your father is a stud

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

Wish I had worn less sunscreen growing up

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

Miss earning minimum wage

[Shit Mom Never Said @shitmaneversaid]

<3 menopause