🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️

😾🧙🏻‍♀️🐍 🏳️‍🌈 she/they “you could trust her with your drink but probably not a knife”

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

@Cian_Chaos Oh they are so cute I can’t handle it, happy birthday lil babies

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

Stabbed my hand in front of a customer and was trying not to curse in front of him but what came out instead was “sweet TITTIES that hurt”

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

Watched a man in his 60s shotgun a beer today and honestly good for him

[Casey Frey @caseykfrey]

Never seen big titties harm anyone

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

@Cian_Chaos FUCKIN HELL YEAH

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

My toxic trait is I saw this and went “oh I could make this with the scraps from those jorts”

[Sean Speezy @sean_speezy]

What’s wrong, babe? You’re not taking any Jong rips

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

Sometimes you get too comfy and then the universe reminds you very aggressively that people are dicks.

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

prepare to be sick of me l am already on my spooky shit

[Halloween Countdown @HalloweenCounts]

90 Days Until #Halloween 🎃

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

Someone dress up in silly little outfits and go to the renaissance fair with me

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

If working at this golf course has done anything for me, that thing is completely remove any hesitation I once had to fist fight an old man

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

@Cian_Chaos Ok but in the meantime should I fill in empty space on my arms or keep adding to my legs

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

Okay yeah I could totally find a better coping mechanism, but instead I’m drafting an email to schedule another new tattoo

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

If I show up at your party and you offer me punch from your sink I’m unplugging the sink drain and leaving

[Shawna™ @ShawnaWTF]

Nah man, how have they not arrested this man yet

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

My music taste was almost completely formed by the Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1&2 sound tracks, and honestly hasn’t really developed much past that point

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

Sometimes when I’m doing weird shit near an open window I like to stop what I’m doing suddenly and stare out the window like I caught someone looking, just in case

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

How would someone go about getting themself lost at sea? Floating in the middle of the ocean in to oblivion sounds nice right now

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

I’m just trying to have a nice time but republicans exist

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

“I’ll adopt your baby”

[🎃👻 Shelby 🕸☠️ @shlebby__]

@LiLnikk91 heartbreaking every single time