shmeee shma

i ate too many m&ms once, been turnt ever since.

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

holla for a dolla #uppastmidnight

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Wayyyyyy up, I feel blessed.

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Me everyday

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Cooking some pasta in the dishwasher. Saw it on Biggest Cheapskates on TLC.

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

SORRY I WAS GONE. Went on a retreat to New Mexico. But nobody spoke Mexican. But it was great, never been to a diff country before. #Cerveza

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

There's such thing as @PopTarts411 where you can tweet your pop tart problems. #sos #burntpoptart

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Someone is salty as fuhhh

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Sorry for my absence. Forgot my password. Guess "BillC0zby6547" was a bad combo.

[Taco Bell @tacobell]

Because tacos.

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Last night was awesum. I did that thing where you put burts bees on your eye lids, and felt so wasted.

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

I'm not stuttering...my speech is remixed by The Lord. Come at me.

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Til I die literally “@BurgerKing: Life hack: order fries, always be happy.”

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

One time I drank 2 Four Lokos and then ate a McFlurry. I thought I was going to die and honestly wasn't mad bout it. #McFloko

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

But on the bright side, you could die having sex and that's not so bad now, is it? #YOLO

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Your only way out of this life is death. I just made your night real depressing.

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

On this episode of True Life: My Cat is Gay.

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange #fckwidit

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Post Christmas depression.

[shmeee shma @shmeeeshma]

Dear 65lb 2oz baby Jesus, pleSe don't eat us.