Jessica Ibsen

I am not nearly as smart as I think I am

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Savannah told a bedtime story in which the main character got a tattoo that said "you're welcome, you are the lettuce of everything" ...wat?

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Lyd-"I need to get ready"
Me-"you have so much time!"
Lyd-"but I have to do my hair"
Me-"girl you'd better hurry! You gonna be late!!"

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

All of the noms are happening

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Bout to make such noms!!

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Um yes!

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Something new and dangerous? Let's poke it and see what it does!

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Darn teenagers and your gummy bear fingers! Gonna get yourself killed!

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Unfortunately someone can be very good looking but not photogenic at all. And even less fortunate: the opposite is just as true.

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

I've come down a severe case of laziness today stay back I'm contagious

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

People who steal trees are my favorite kinds of people

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Aunt Jemima isn't married to Uncle Sam, she's married to uncle Jemima.

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Oh my salary? I would describe it as "sweat shop"

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

"What ya doin Jess?"
"Oh you know... Watching YouTube videos of baobab trees..."
#iswearihavealife #imnotlame

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Like a Twinkie... Like a Twinkie

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Ah the good old days

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

So we all know that black holes absorb light... But so do pupils though right?? Do we all have little black holes in our eyes?!??!

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

I'm going to start giving people a *sarcastic slow clap* when they anger me... They need to know about their mistakes

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

Such sign

[Jessica Ibsen @shmesika]

@Joshp3196 ...what??