shmorlax

cap

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

Cardi B said she wants a THREESOME where she and another woman BOTH SUCK DICK AT THE SAME TIME - while making out 💀

Alex Cooper asked what fantasy she’d never admitted publicly.

“I think I’ve done them all.”

Then Cardi got specific.

She wanted a “really pretty-faced girl” she actually liked.

And she wanted them doing it TOGETHER.

“Not just my turn, your turn.”

She described making out and “clashing on it.”

Cooper immediately picked up on the pretty-face requirement.

Cardi’s explanation?

“I’m very passionate.”

“I like to make love.”

Alex asked for a fantasy.

Cardi gave her the full scene 😭

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

This wasn't even the most shocking part of the interview 💀 posting it tonight.
Follow to catch it

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

Cardi B said she wants a THREESOME where she and another woman BOTH SUCK DICK AT THE SAME TIME - while making out 💀

Alex Cooper asked what fantasy she’d never admitted publicly.

“I think I’ve done them all.”

Then Cardi got specific.

She wanted a “really pretty-faced girl” she actually liked.

And she wanted them doing it TOGETHER.

“Not just my turn, your turn.”

She described making out and “clashing on it.”

Cooper immediately picked up on the pretty-face requirement.

Cardi’s explanation?

“I’m very passionate.”

“I like to make love.”

Alex asked for a fantasy.

Cardi gave her the full scene 😭

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

Bonnie Blue’s mum said £1 MILLION A MONTH would change YOUR MORALS - and have you getting YOUR BITS OUT too 💀

Would she have chosen this career for her daughter?

“No.”

She said she was really shocked.

But would she now want Bonnie doing anything else?

“No, not at all.”

Then she addressed the people leaving nasty comments.

She said most of the time she just LAUGHS.

In her view, their high morals wouldn’t survive a million pounds a month.

“I don’t care what people say.”

And there’s another detail in the documentary:

Bonnie put her WHOLE FAMILY on the PAYROLL.

They could give up their day jobs 😭

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

Charlize Theron said she FUCKED A 26-YEAR-OLD at 49 - and called it “REALLY FUCKING AMAZING.” 💀

She said she’d probably only had THREE one-night stands in her entire life.

Then came the review of her most recent one.

“I’ve never done that.”

“Oh, this is great. Okay.”

She said she was having the kind of sex she never had in her 20s or 30s.

But she wasn’t missing a relationship.

Or the partnership people assumed she needed.

Meanwhile, her verdict on dating apps?

“A fucking clown show.”

No Burning Man photos.

No selfies showing off in a closet.

Apparently, one 26-year-old did better than an entire dating app 😭

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

This isn’t even the craziest part of the interview. Part 2 drops tomorrow, follow so you don’t miss it

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

Kesha said NO to TWO ATHLETES AT ONCE - “If I don’t like someone’s BRAIN, I can’t deal with their PENIS.” 💀

She said the two athletes wanted to hang out with her at the same time.

And she initially thought she was ready for that kind of situation.

She had her sex drive back.

She wanted a “hoe phase.”

Then she actually tried entertaining the idea.

“I can’t.”

“No, no, no.”

She explained that being physically attracted to someone doesn’t work for her if she isn’t attracted to their mind.

She called the situation a cute flirtation.

But said she had misread HER OWN vibe.

What did she actually want?

One king.

And until then?

“Masturbate and meditate.” 😭

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

Alix Earle said her first BLOWJOB was so bad her boyfriend called it “THE WORST THING I’VE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE” - and accused her of BITING HIS DICK 💀

Alex Cooper asked her to name her best skill in the bedroom.

Alix said she was pretty good at giving head.

“I have been told.”

Then came the backstory.

Her first boyfriend gave her a review she clearly never forgot.

“That was horrible.”

She said she was PETRIFIED.

Then she got determined.

“I studied.”

She credited Call Her Daddy with helping her get better - and agreed that she now takes pride in her work.

Cooper raised her drink.

“I’m so proud of you.”

She came on a podcast and got congratulated for doing her homework 😭

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

Sophie Rain said her parents almost DISOWNED her for doing OnlyFans - then she paid off ALL THEIR DEBT 💀

Her parents met at HOOTERS.

But when she showed them what she was doing, she said they were seriously upset.

They worried about her safety.

They asked whether someone was FORCING her.

They thought she was being rebellious.

Sophie said she explained that she owned her content, controlled what she put out and was doing it herself.

They understood she was taking it seriously.

Then came the financial update.

ALL their debt.

Paid off.

She and Don Lemon joked about the reaction:

“Oh, you’re fine.”

“Okay, okay.”

Then Don took the joke one step further:

“When’s the new car?”

“When’s the new car?” 😭

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

LILY PHILLIPS’ DAD said they’d SELL THEIR HOUSE if she would QUIT PORN - and the conversation left her in TEARS 💀

He thought her OnlyFans was just swimwear and lingerie.

“I thought that was it. I really did.”

Her mum said they initially stood back because they wanted to keep their relationship with their daughter.

But when it went further?

“No, no.”

Then her dad asked whether money was the reason.

Because if it was, they were willing to sell their home.

“You can have whatever you want, Lily, if you give it up now.”

He said they also wanted to know she was SAFE.

Her parents started questioning whether they’d done something wrong raising her.

By the end, Lily was wiping away tears while they asked if she was okay 😭

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

Adam22 admitted he FAILED Lena The Plug during their child's early years - and said he feels like the “biggest piece of shit” while discussing their SEPARATION 😳

In the full interview, he said he'd left too much of their HOME LIFE on her shoulders.

She had called him out for treating work as his only family responsibility.

Go to work. Come home.

He said he couldn't even argue with her.

Other men told him those expectations were UNREALISTIC.

That he wasn't going to be that guy.

His response?

“I now understand what she needed from me for all those years.”

He singled out the early years with their child.

The years when, he says, he didn't come through for her.

He was being told the expectations were too high.

He was saying he hadn't done ENOUGH.

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

BONNIE BLUE said she would have CONSENSUAL SEX with a RAPIST - arguing she'd rather he come to her than hurt someone who hasn't consented.

“I'm offering out my body.”

“I'm consenting to it.”

She also said that being a rapist doesn't change just because a later encounter is consensual.

Then she explained her position: she'd prefer that person have consensual sex with her than hurt and traumatise somebody else.

That's the reasoning she gave in her interview with Liam Tuffs.

Would that actually prevent someone else from being harmed?

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

Katy Perry revealed she would give her partner a BLOWJOB for cleaning the kitchen and doing the DISHES - and said she doesn't need a RED FERRARI because she can buy one herself 💀

A clean kitchen.

The dishes washed.

The pantry doors closed.

“If I come downstairs and the kitchen is clean”

“You better be ready to get your dick sucked”

“That is my love language”

“I can buy a red Ferrari”

“Just do the fucking dishes”

“I will suck your dick”

She even brought up a question from a couples' retreat:

Who gets more sex - the man driving a Ferrari, or the man helping his wife in the kitchen?

The answer was the guy in the kitchen 😭

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

@artistryhere so what should i do when life sucks?😭

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Embrace the penguin.

[OKX Wallet @wallet]

Plans for the weekend:

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

@TheAppleDesign Post-Jobs Apple feels like a band after the frontman leaves.
Same name. Same instruments. But fewer moments you remember forever

[shmorlax @shmorlax]

@TheAppleDesign Post-Jobs Apple feels like a band after the frontman leaves.
Same name. Same instruments. But fewer moments you remember forever

[OKX @okx]

Ohhh. Ahhhh! Which altcoin will have the world awestruck in 2026?