Ask any trauma survivor: it can be SO hard to actually accept, experience, sit with, or process the experience of being loved or valued. We're waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the big reveal. To realize it was all a scam.
We come by those abandonment fears honestly.
I choose trauma recovery because if I have to engage w/ my past, it's gonna be on my terms, at my pace, for my reasons-- not the intrusive, chaotic sh*t show of trauma responses that ruined my life & relationships for years.
To be in control, I had to surrender.