Scott Schwartz

Nice Work Films // Chicago // EP // [email protected] //

[Ed Krassenstein @EdKrassen]

BREAKING: Jon Stewart just completely destroyed Republican State Senator Nathan Dahm of Oklahoma on gun reform in America. Each and every point that Dahm tried to address was completely debunked by Stewart. Stewart made Dahm look as foolish as he and his republican colleagues really are.

My favorite quote was: “In every other place your life you want to bring order, but guns are the outlier for you.”

Let all your republican friends see this video! https://t.co/qOlU187LHx

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

Me: I feel anxious all the time. Climate change, monkeypox, inflation, mass shootings, I just don’t know what to—

INTERNET: Shhhhhhh say no more.

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

Bulls will win the East.

[Chicago Bulls @chicagobulls]

DEMAR DEROZAN FOR THE WIN!!

@NBCSChicago | @DeMar_DeRozan | #NBAAllStar

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

History fun fact: on Dec. 8th, 1941, 24 hrs after Pearl Harbor, FDR gives his famous “a date which will live in infamy” speech while being treated for a sinus infection… with cocaine. God bless America. 🇺🇸

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

Thank you Josh Malina for saying what every other Jew in Hollywood should be saying.

[(((Jew))) @JoshMalina]

Cancel Mel Gibson, Hollywood's Leading Anti-Semite - The Atlantic https://t.co/5l5E4p2npL

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

This is absolutely fucked. So fucked that I’m up at 1am tweeting about it to my 5 followers. @kadjewels RT please.

[Gawker @Gawker]

The A.V. Club's new editor-in-chief told his primarily Chicago-based staff that they were being "invited" to join a Los Angeles office.
https://t.co/wbrJgM0Wpt

[Shannon & Swift @shannonandswift]

Once after a pitch, the Exec said “That was seriously the best pitch I’ve ever heard. All pitches should go just like that.”

It was a pass.

We’ve said this before, but Hollywood has a million ways of saying no, and most sound like a compliment. The only way they say Yes is $.

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

Melania’s vibe right now...

[Nate Silver @NateSilver538]

https://t.co/PO6Gnum3je

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

dear donald trump,

love,

shea

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

@carney @GilChatsworth @BreitbartNews It’s actually spelled *WAP*.

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

@carney @GilChatsworth @BreitbartNews Ok so what you’re saying is that he’s just a selfish asshole that completely disregarded the well being of others while speaking from one of the most powerful positions in the world? Got it 👍

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

@KimFoxxforSA release Malcom London. There are no valid charges.

[Vikram Murthi @fauxbeatpoet]

Eulogizing Little Richard is slightly pointless because it’s like trying to eulogize water or air. He’s one of a handful of people who’s responsible for all the music that rendered my world legible. https://t.co/bjtDF3Wghw

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

This is brilliant. Thank you internet for getting me through these tough times. ❤️

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

@uzivert A da

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

I’m proud to endorse my friend @JoeBiden for President of the United States. Let's go: https://t.co/maHVGRozkX

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

If you don’t think this is part of a grand plan to cough on Carole Baskin in court, y’all haven’t been watching.

[Tevin Wooten @TevinWooten]

That’s…wild. 🤔

https://t.co/94vSTp1Qs2 via @nbcnews

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

This is the most spot on example of Judaism I’ve ever seen and I haven’t stopped laughing for 5 straight minutes.

[Scott Schwartz @short_schwartz]

Dracula Musical from Forgetting Sarah Marshall OR Stu’s Tiger Song from The Hangover?