Ellora Bultema

Much like the Ellora Caves in India, I am a deep abyss of mystery and complexity.

she/her OR they/them

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

I want a cat named Priority Mail.

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

I want a cat named Ex-Wife

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

I want a cat named John Grayson.

[Trenton Yeary @TrentonYeary]

GO BEARS!!! 🐻 🏈 @MoStateFootball

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

What the opposite of “against your will?” That’s my cat when I kiss him square on the lips 🐱 💋 🧍‍♂️

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

Why do washing machines lie to us? It’s been “5 minutes” for the past 20 minutes???? This isn’t Google maps. There’s no traffic to account for. Just clean my fucking socks

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

Normalize 🥱 meaning both “yawn” and “hungry/eat” depending on the context

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

Just fell for my first April Fools joke of the day

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

Me eating $6 Friday sushi in the Ralph’s parking lot

[Ian Faria @ianfaria13]

Did someone say

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

@unsteddy I support you 🫂

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

@unsteddy Bro same. They’re like remember all that Courtney Barnett you blasted this year? I remember the three exact moments this occurred.

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

@CWeeKiwi Gotta be all that chemistry 😏

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

@unsteddy Be safe!!!!!

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

Me when it’s day 781 of one sentence a day of #50shadesofgrey and they haven’t even so much as grazed each others skin

[b @wwxwashere]

when the slowburn is too slow 😭

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

Dear web search bar,
I NEVER mean “General Motors.”
It’s always “Gmail.”
Always.

Sincerely,
“gm”

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

@TrentonYeary

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

Well put. I love this man. I love cigarettes.

[David Lynch @DAVID_LYNCH]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Yes, I have emphysema from my many years of smoking. I have to say that I enjoyed smoking very much, and I do love tobacco - the smell of it, lighting cigarettes on fire, smoking them - but there is a price to pay for this enjoyment, and the price for me is emphysema. I have now quit smoking for over two years. Recently I had many tests and the good news is that I am in excellent shape except for emphysema. I am filled with happiness, and I will never retire.

I want you all to know that I really appreciate your concern.

Love,

David

[Ellora Bultema @shortasianman]

Isn’t it weird how we say “lip gloss” but it’s “nail polish?”