shortfiction

[shortfiction @shortfiction]

"Holy cow," I thought, as my lips moved along the curve of her breast. "She is the sweetest, smoothest creature on earth." Then she belched.

[shortfiction @shortfiction]

"Don't open the door, idiot," she spat. "Shut up, woman. I'm sick of all the lies." He flung it open and was eaten. "Told you so," she said.

[shortfiction @shortfiction]

Her call surprised me: "Do you feel this, too?" I hedged, but I knew. "We can't," I said. But I fell through her open door. So this is love.

[shortfiction @shortfiction]

As his appendix burst, and the poison spread through his gut, he thought regretfully, "Damn, I knew I should have sprung for HBO last fall."

[shortfiction @shortfiction]

The Macy's incident opened my eyes to the retail danger of teenage marsupial owners. I now realize they cannot be trusted in dressing rooms.

[shortfiction @shortfiction]

In retrospect, the cat's warning should've alerted me. He normally doesn't speak English. But I thought he was joking about the giant mouse.

[shortfiction @shortfiction]

These stories should always be 140 characters. And they should be interesting. I can guarantee the characters. The interesting? Not so much.