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Everything we eat is just flavored water. https://t.co/uY8ZfEVuBK

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When I am focused on writing as clearly as possible, I feel like there is a conscious shift from writing to drawin… https://t.co/Yt1MlKVzMN

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I wonder if people in 1917 were as nostalgic about the 1890s as we are today about the 1990s. https://t.co/gf4hvtEHng

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WannaCry Ransomware may have just revitalized jobs for IT. https://t.co/vkZPidPGiy

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How do women do the "pocket" check? https://t.co/mL1HtW5ujQ

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Trash bag boxes contain what will eventually contain them. https://t.co/jth6rKD48d

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If maintaining eye-contact were a sport, it'd be a non-contact sport https://t.co/Jq5PIQpVku

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Ladies, if you're currently pregnant with a boy, you have a tiny penis inside of you. https://t.co/JO96hmMRbP

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If I were a city worker I would purposely place man hole covers with painted lines on them in the wrong orientatio… https://t.co/gupOFj0Npu

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If you don't have money for condoms or for the morning after pill, you really can't afford having a child so... https://t.co/v7R9m6hoUE

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Volcanoes are the equivalent to pimples, but for Earth. https://t.co/SZHyWxOT2Q

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As a kid I brought smiles to truckers faces when I begged them to pull their air horn. As a trucker I bring smiles… https://t.co/BZP1Tjt81w

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Online dating is really just setting yourself up on a blind date. https://t.co/pEbACDOacq

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I'd imagine it wouldn't be hard to make a portable charger powered by a fidget spinner it's built into https://t.co/A45OAx8McD

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What is something you've noticed you do that is kind of weird and wonder if others do it too but it would be awkwa… https://t.co/lwzzeblB0q

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You could claim anything's an inside joke and no one would ever know. https://t.co/bcFlcCFNJ9

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Hey I'll be right there just let me scrub this paste across the bones that are exposed in one of my face orifices https://t.co/weYMVVidHw

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Relationships are the only things in life where something gets built whether you do something or not. Our inaction… https://t.co/Vc0yhM0vXu

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What if doing the Sign of the Cross is our way of telling the universe "save game"? https://t.co/fHGxSqs4SW

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The more opinions, the better the decision made https://t.co/nu3FgVmQlm

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I wonder how many things I have forgotten to do without remembering. https://t.co/SZ7RY5SrWP