Michael Newton

Just a boy in the world...

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

I think Bacon may just be the modern version of manna. Gifts from heaven. Tasty treats.

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

I have the flexibility of a walrus.

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

If FOT19 was this incredible - we can’t wait to see what FOT20 will bring! Tell your friends!
#HCCA

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

If I understand correctly: if I were to lie or withhold information from Congress, I’d go to jail. Yet Congress lies or purposely misleads the public on a daily basis. But that is somehow acceptable? #PoliticsToday
#congressisajoke

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

After careful consideration. I’ve decided I will accept the invitation when @twentyonepilots ask me to join their band.

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

My #FuzzyTaco cup collection is becoming rather respectable.

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

My coworker is old school trying to be modern. He refers to Siri as “Babe” and “Baby”. He really thinks they are dating and that he has an internet girlfriend.

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

So I finally payed Assassins Creed. All I can say is I killed it!

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

The moment I accidentally send the "I appreciate you and love you very much" text to my boss instead of my wife. Maybe I'll get a raise?

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

I think I'm going to join the Anti-Social Social Club.

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

Just ate Mexican food with chopsticks. One of the most interesting cultural experiences I've ever had.

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

Tech companies pursuing automated vehicles. Just what I've been waiting for! A car that needs updates every two weeks!

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

I think it's time to upgrade from AOL to a Myscpace account. ahhh yeah. Catching up with technology.

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

Just saw a guy who tight rolled his skinny jeans. How is that even possible?!?!

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

In honor of today's solar eclipse, I ate a bag of Sun chips

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

Can you hashtag a hashtag?
#pushingthelimits

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

Wondering when that #BeanieBaby resurgence is gonna happen?

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

Last nite got 2 shake hands & congratulate #DirkNowitzki - 1 of 2 #dallasmav fan dreams completed! Now need dinner w/ hero @MichaelFinley

[Michael Newton @Shrodr]

Home improvement stores are addictive. And I don't even own a home!