Kevin Haverstick

Welcome to the other side of my twitter thing

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

Don't get me wrong, I love cheese. But what kind of psychopath uses the big side of the parmesan container??

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

How dare you sell me a loaf of bread with an odd number of slices @OroweatMx

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

Do those poachers in Africa know that if they kill all the rhinos they'll be out of a job? #EndangeredSpeciesDay

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

You've never felt true pain until you've put on socks while your feet have that pins and needles feeling

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

Alright, that's it! I'm quiting social media once and for all... never mind this is too hard

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

*literally pours cheez-its in mouth*

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

I prefer to look at Twitter on Instagram

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

@mamitalaurita Your dog is weird.

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

Ha! Joke's on you, unskippable youtube ad. I peed while you were talking #swerve #getrekt

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

Also, what size do the snowwoman's breasts have to be for it to not be sexist? Asking for a friend

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

With winter only a few months away we need to be reminded that snowwoman are just as important as snowmen because #equality

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

@JoelVanillaBear Be proud of your mandals

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

@JoelVanillaBear All skiers* not just the extreme ones

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

If some asshole ever gives you a nasty look for no reason just remember that at one point in their lives that've had uncontrollable diarrhea

[Demetri Martin ([email protected]) @DemetriMartin]

I live by one simple rule, and that is why I have so many problems.

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

My nightstand is the box my microwave came in #singlelife

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

Doctor: Alright, it's time for your prostate exam, take off your pants.

Patient: Where should I put them?

Doctor: Right over there, next to mine.

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

Parenting is walking a fine line of childhood trauma where your kid turns out funny and not a terrorist #thoughtoftheday #parentingtips

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

If you're feeling sick and have no soup go to a chicken brothel

[Kevin Haverstick @shtick10]

Could give a shit if kiki likes me or not, but I don't. She probably a bitch anyway I don't care