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rare candy

[Mop Penguin @MopPenguin]

bro last night was a folk tale orally passed on through generations

[Cyael @Cyael]

Your Flock Future

[Kyle Mangione-Smith @gay_kyle2]

Bro have you ever tried listening to tame and paula after you smoked weed

[dolo @doloyeung]

Me: Bring out the waitress who called me a gamer freak yesterday. I want her to apologize again

Long John Silver's manager: Sir, she's not back there

Tutorial voice in my head: Close one eye to enable pirate vision. By enabling pirate vision you can see scallywags through walls

[Le Cinéphiles @LeCinephiles]

BREAKING: HD image of Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man and Robert Downey Jr’s Doctor Doom from ‘AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY’ has leaked.

[Tito Tarantino @titMcGrit2]

Guess who is returning to Doomsday

[Mario Lopez @mariolopezviva]

"Aww shit he's off that scorpion again"

[Alex @alexxmalloy]

all the fruit is poisoned, they’re saying the only safe thing to eat is crab rangoon

[Olho na Vala @OlhoNaVala]

🚨ABSURDO | O Homem Mais Afobado do Mundo foi flagrado em pânico total nas ruas de Barcelona completamente sem destino aparente, confira:

[𝕸𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖔𝖘 📘🦷🔼 @Homievulgaris]

It came to me in a dream

[rova @rovabtw]

i miss when goon meant entry level mafia employee

[Earl @blacklung82]

when you’re trying to sing the birthday song and that one person starts saying “cha cha cha” in between lines