shutupanddoit

if i could pick one person to be with for the rest of my life....it would have to be purple

[shutupanddoit @shutupanddoit3]

No!
type 'yes' if you agree

[shutupanddoit @shutupanddoit3]

Hey @askdisasterdave did you find an emergency planning manager? Portlands MAIN roads are covered in 6" of ice 3 days AFTER the blizzard https://t.co/NG1QAxrBbs

[David Blitzer @askdisasterdave]

Portland is hiring an emergency planning and preparedness manager. Please spread the word. Deadline 9/24/12 - http://t.co/GQxGZbAx #smem

[Staz Trudeaux @SheJStaz]

Spells "has" correctly. #SignsYourCatIsNotOfThisWorld

[shutupanddoit @shutupanddoit3]

Fields of broccoli as far as the eye can see #UnlikelyAnimalDreams

[🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 @3sunzzz]

So it turns out if you're standing in line at Walmart for so long that you get lightheaded, the snacks at the registers still aren't free.

[Corey Miller @StopEatingBees]

Trump nominates Barbie for Secretary of Realistic Body Image. And Ken for Secretary of Average Penis Size. #IronicCabinetPicks

[shutupanddoit @shutupanddoit3]

Steel Blade Magnolias #AllMaleReboots

[Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy]

All My Children Aren't Vaccinated
#MillennialSoapOperas

[🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 @3sunzzz]

Never try to hold open an automatic door for someone. No matter how you go about it, it's just awkward.

[🍁☘️Canadian Fletchy 🇨🇦 @Darth_Pingu]

#InsteadOfFireworks , more cowbell

[K. @kittykaresless]

I'll just run laps in my corduroy pants and watch the sparks fly. #InsteadOfFireworks

[shutupanddoit @shutupanddoit3]

#InsteadOfFireworks I'll write my name in the air with a lit cigarette

[Special K @SwirlySkittles]

I'm not some kind of lunatic. Of course I snort my skittles one color at a time.

[shutupanddoit @shutupanddoit3]

@thejohnobrien thanks for liking my tweet. Twitter is like high school-no one will like what I say until I'm popular

[shutupanddoit @shutupanddoit3]

8,800 sky miles = one way ticket to Boise. Thanks delta

[Sandee @Paige__xxx]

Me: Walkin in da club like ..yo yo bitch. How's this girl gonna get her drank on?

Bitch: I'm sorry ma'am but this is Costco.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Like my tweets you stupid dicks