Julia

your favorite dumbass’ favorite dumbass (she/her) ♉︎ 🇦🇲🏳️‍🌈

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

Sometimes when I get a little too big for my britches I go to my 23andMe results and force myself to read that I have 35% more Neanderthal DNA than most people

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

saying goodbye to my twitter app truly feels like a breakup

[Warren Gunnels @GunnelsWarren]

Welcome to the Divided States of Oligarchy:

Elon Musk Wealth
2012: $2 billion
2025: $449 billion

Jeff Bezos Wealth
2012: $18 billion
2025: $245 billion

Mark Zuckerberg Wealth
2012: $44 billion
2025: $217 billion

Federal Minimum Wage
2009: $7.25 an hour
2025: $7.25 an hour

[Teddu 🐈 @diyfieri]

I can't look at any video of the rizzler/the Costco guys without thinking about this tweet

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

@bibicloud Honestly I understand and appreciate your honesty

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

2025 is the year of the toe ring

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

@bibicloud DING DONG DUMBASSES FICIDIOE STEALING THIS

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

@bibicloud Jon’s safe dw

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

asking my friends opinions on photos like I’m an optometrist

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

There are certain policies RFK wants to implement that I just know the worm wrote

[Stella Chat BPD @redrum_panda]

Its crazy how if you get good grades they just let you raw dog adhd your whole life

[tish @tishta]

grown men stumblin around on the train. engage ur calves brother

[Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel]

it’s always the loser prescriptions that are ready for pick up at CVS. like i don’t even want that one

[ꉂ૮˵˃ ꈊ ˂˵ა (they/them) @em0dads_]

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

just dreamt i told such a bad joke that i ruined the party for everyone

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

bf’s response to my simultaneous period and bloody nose:

[stove dialer @nickhexum311]

hi john that great you can go ahead and order it

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

@familysizedbag We must be in physical contact at all times or we will combust

[Maddington Bear @familysizedbag]

Me and the gf’s toes when we’re in bed

[Julia @shutupjuliaa]

getting called in is punishment for being competent