Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It!

Comedian living in Austin, TX. Mother’s Maiden name is Hill.

[Comedy Wham @ComedyWham]

Here it is!!!

Our latest feature article in @AustinChronicle !!

Featuring input from @shutupMurphy
@dustinsvehlak
@raminnazer
& @HeliumComedy

https://t.co/nomzEkpjLt

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

Folks what can I say I’m back

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

More like American’T! Who the hell is running this two-stick popsicle stand?!

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

Cockroaches are scary as hell ‘cause they can hear you. They combine my two greatest fears: Insects and being caught by the person you’re talking shit about.

[Blockbusting Podcast @BlockbustingPod]

Congrats to Sam Elliott for making @shutupMurphy's Power of the Dog take look way less problematic now https://t.co/Xvr3RnNoUc

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

@mikewiebe It’s interesting you say that because the best 2 movies I saw recently are Scream and Jackass and they both make me believe that movies can be really good while being One Thing the whole time. Auteur movies should be scarce that’s what makes them good. Not everyone is Kubrick.

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

Dear Mr. Hollywood please bring back the Comedy Film.

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

@excake I LOVE THE CINEMA

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

If the Texas freeze prevents me from seeing Jackass tomorrow night I am suing the state for war crimes. Yeah, AGAIN.

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

Sometimes you don’t even have to watch something know it’s totally Epic sauce. Which is why I’m choosing to skip this one.

[Saturday Night Live @nbcsnl]

Peyton Manning stopped by Update to talk…Emily in Paris?

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

@enagurney I humbly submit The Cheat into consideration. He makes lil meow-like noises and does strongbad’s bidding.

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

Watching one of my favorites tonight, IYKYK.

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

If woke culture has spread to ‘We must protect Pete Davidson from verbal assault’ then it is back to the drawing board folks.

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

Hey guys, 900 different ways to cancel Kanye if you really want. Unfortunately this ain’t it. Hilarious.

[New York Post @nypost]

Kanye West allegedly spreading unfounded rumors Pete Davidson is gay, has AIDS https://t.co/fEI8RDS4U3

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

4 months ago I thought there would never be a more boring beef than Drake v. Kanye. Behold, from the ashes rose Young v. Rogan. Never short of amazed at white people’s ability to appropriate.

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

@mikewiebe Love this take. I give it a close 2nd to tenenbaums cause I’m basic. His first ten or so years is way better than this last decade though imo. And this will go down as my most hipster tweet ever! Thanks Mike!

[Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @shutupMurphy]

Planning a one-week trip in July as if I have 2 million dollars.

[Joe List @JoeListComedy]

Dear @nflcommish
Please adopt college football overtime rules. Every single person outside of Kansas City wishes Josh Allen had the ball in his hands right now.
As a Patriots fan I benefited from this rule a few years ago. I knew it stunk then. My father hates me. Thank you.