Aspen // they:them

TW •𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒶 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒹𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓊𝒹• ugw:72lbs

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

𓂀 𝔸𝕝𝕝 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝔸𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕

- 𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪

- 𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕒𝕘𝕖𝕕💍

- 𝟝’𝟝

- 𝔸𝕟𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕩𝕚𝕔 & 𝔹𝕦𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕚𝕔

- ℂ𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕚𝕟𝕖 𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕚𝕔𝕥 𓂀

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

Having to rehome my dog was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.. and now I have to rehome my cat, who is literally my bestfriend. I fucking hate this.

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

All I gotta say is.. when my wife is angry, it kills me. I feel so alone.. the name calling hurts so bad.. telling me she wasted her life on me.. every time it happens I just want to relapse.. it kills me each time.. each time it rips a part of my heart out..

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

@suncncr I’ve been drinking the leefar cutting mix from TikTok and it’s only day 3 so Idk if it will actually do anything but maybe it’s worth a try?

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

Wow- I’m really adding to the yellow

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

Yellow type of day I guess

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

My mom made me lunch- and is bout to make dinner- crying- she is making salads for dinner so yay but lunch was eggs, pot stickers, and dumplings. I only have 3 pot sticker and 3 dumplings with 2.5 soft boiled boiled eggs. And one cheesecake truffle.. fml. Too much food

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

When my wife gets home I will be going through her phone because she rubbed it in my face that a girl at the bar was “all over me” and flirting with her. Can’t wait to either get my heart shattered or be semi okay

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

Why did I let this body go- UGH

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

Sometimes my brain is fucking horrible. I hate when she has fun without me. It makes me sick. My brain twists it into something it isn’t.. every-time she goes on a solo trip and texts me about how she is out drinking or doing something fun.. I just want to grab a blade and scream

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

Well what do you know.. had diarrhea after that drink- now it’s no where near as painful as last time.. last time I lost control of my bowels.. but- still.. I only used half a packet instead of the whole thing.. maybe I gotta ease my way into that stuff..

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

My teriyaki noodles with chicken and my leefar water. Fun fact the last time I had my cutting mix was my 1st time and I got absolutely sick- vomiting, diarrhea, weakness- I’m hoping it was just a stomach bug when I tried it.. so let’s see how this goes

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

I had 2 rice cakes and dipped them in some homemade apple butter.. that was this morning. I’m gonna eat something else because my head is killing me and I’m cleaning. I can’t wait to move out of this stupid camper. I need a whole sized fridge so I can buy my low cal foods again..

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

How is it when I barely eat anything, the next day my shit is complete water- I’m so confused

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

@imgzGIA My mom has disordered eating habits,she is only 17 years older than me. So I always looked up to her. So when I was in middle school I weighed almost the same she did. I asked if I could start eating healthy like her. But I got sucked into counting calories and edtwt. 9years deep

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

My emotional well being has taken a turn- I’m sat in my car, feeling so numb but feeling so sad at the same time. My wife is out of state bar hopping and having the best time without me and I’m here.. alone.. trying not to give into the urge to slice my skin apart..I hate myself

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

Dinner is served 🫰🏻

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

Aye 2 cheese tortillas and a mini apple pie while at work. Hate myself but if I didn’t eat something while I’m here I would’ve gone home and binged. I’m gonna starve tonight and tomorrow. Sunday I have to eat at my moms before my wife gets home. But small portions while I’m there

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

Favorite low cal snacks? And Go!

[Aspen // they:them @Sickeninglbs]

My wife is gone on a trip for 4 days and I plan on eating barely anything. Maybe I’ll loose a bunch. High hopes? Always. Gonna be let down? Always. I miss her so much but also like now she can’t hover and make me eat.