osamu.

18 | he/him | SHEDTWT | eng / deu | EDNOS, BPD + co., chronically ill

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i wish it was socially acceptable to ask “are you mad at me?” every 5 minutes

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

if i never talk to anyone again will they even care? will it be nice to not have me around? they’ll be free from having to listen to me poorly attempt to talk to other people

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

every time i talk it feels like everyone just wants me to shut up. i don’t know how to add to conversations i don’t know how to talk to anyone i just feel out of place 24/7. i need to just never speak again i should never open my mouth

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i want to sleep and never wake back up

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i want to be someone’s first choice, i’m not even my own family’s first choice they forget i exist half the time

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

if i wake up and everything is gone im ending it i don’t fucking care anymore. i’ll find a way

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

im scared to sleep im scared that im going to wake up and everything important to me will be gone

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

it hurts my mind hurts i’m i’m so much pain and it’s not caused by anyone but my own brain.

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i’m so upset i cant sleep im laying here crying and trying mot to throw up. i don’t know what’s wrong with my brain i don’t want to live like this anymore

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i hate this i hate living like this, i don’t WANT to live like this i am absolutely miserable beyond belief and my only source of happiness feels as if it’s slipping away from me by the day. please jsut let this pain end i can’t do it anymore i cant do it i cant fucking do it

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i feel nothing but guilt and jealousy. those are the only two emotions i’ve been able to feel for weeks, i cant do this anymore i can’t keep living like this I CANT FUCKING DO IT. i’m i’m SO much pain every single day and not a single thing will help, each time i feel fine it’s—

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

only a matter of time before something happens that triggers my emotions again. i cant do this i dont know what im supposed to do i’m never going to get out of this hole i’m in. the hole gets deeper by the day, each time i think i’ve hit rock bottom i go deeper.

[angie @sweetangelette]

if you have jealousy issues as an adult they kill you

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

why do i take everything as a personal attack i hate myself for doing so

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i feel hopeless

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

trying to make friends and i’m just making a fool of myself instead LMAOO

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

being autistic nerfed my social skills so badly i’m actually so embarrassed by how bad i am at talking to people

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i was able to survive a really rough night without hurting myself and i’m proud of myself for it

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

cuddling with an extra large stuffed animal because i can’t stop crying LMAO i am so fucking lonely i have one best friend who means the absolute world to me and besides them i just have. no one

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i don’t want to feel like this forever.

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

im so lonely i’m just laying in bed sobbing

[osamu. @sicklycursed]

i can’t even talk to anyone about how i fee l because i don’t know how. i don’t know how to express how miserable i feel. i’m in so much pain i just want to be loved