Sidney Abbott

Daft jokes and pics. Interests include birds, beer, bristols and football. I make it all up. Badly. Pics happily removed on owners request.

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Don't panic pet, socially distance rules don't yet apply to the twins....

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Got to say the Queen (and her speech writers) absolutely f**king nailed that.

Stay home
Stay safe
Send nudes

#WellMeetAgain

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Well it's day 10 of lockdown, and I think I've wanked so much dehydration is setting in. Oh well, once more unto the breach dear friends....

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

@MikeGunn1 Evening sir! Dull story but lost my job and the new one (happy to have it) doesn't give me the time or opportunity to be on here. Hope you're well and not too bored with lockdown.

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Probably a sign of the times but my first thoughts on seeing this were to check she hasn't been stock piling bog roll...

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Bloody hell! It's been a while since I've seen such well stocked shelves....

#LookAtTheSizeOfThoseSaturday

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

I'm sure everyone is already aware of this, but in these odd and worrying times, please remember

Wash your hands,
Keep at least 2m apart,
Stay at home when possible, &
Send nudes....

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

From the seats I'd say that's an A Class Mercedes. If so:

Somewhat underpowered engine,
Slightly vague handling,
Cramped rear seats
Expensive service costs, but
Truly magnificent airbags....

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

To help with a crafty spot of errrr self "isolation" which bongo mag should be brought back and distributed free of charge?

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Certainly popped my cork....

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

To help with a crafty spot of errrr self "isolation" which bongo mag should be brought back and distributed free of charge?

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

To put it in terms i can understand, image virus's as bristols. As you look at the screen, to the left you have Corona, to the right flu. Note how flu is completely #OutGunned

#StayTheFookAtHome...Please

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Bloody hell! How good does Screwfix's same hour "tradesmans" delivery service look!!!!

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Carry on voting. I love them all but Khyber edges it for me.

What about you?

[Carry On Blogging! @CarryOnJoan]

If you are stuck at home at the moment which #CarryOn would cheer you up the most out of my favourite four?

#CarryOnBlogging

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Everything considered, and I realise it's a small win, but the new Corona testing procedures at airports are, errr, wanktastic...

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

The pubs near me are very busy. Seriously wtf!?!

Supermarket shelves are nigh on empty. Really? Come on.

My advice...

➡️ Get some cans in
➡️ Only buy what you, and any vulnerable neighbours need
➡️ Stay in and wank/shag yourself senseless

#StaySafe

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

@CarryOnJoan And continuing the case for Up The Khyber we the very wonderful @ImAngelaDouglas as Exhibit B

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

@CarryOnJoan Tough call. Even without Sid Screaming is superb but I'll go for Up The Khyber. And to back my call I present Exhibit A

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

Well, day one of self isolation and working from home has gone well. I've viewed 93% of the entire pornhub back catalogue, panic bought 16 wrist braces from Amazon and have 3rd degree burns on the palm of my right hand. #HappyDays

[Sidney Abbott @sidneyabbot]

At last, some really helpful advice for these difficult times....