sidney

[Alex @alexxmalloy]

all the fruit is poisoned, they’re saying the only safe thing to eat is crab rangoon

[suze @cortadoedison]

Does anyone know what I want for dinner by any chance

[refriedbuttsects @refriedbuttsect]

telling my son the guy fent folding over there never ate his vegetables

[Black Girl @t_sadiity]

gonna start telling people mid convo "land the plane" when they talkin in circles

[Joseph 🕊️ @CaudilloXIV]

a chad might mog but when the jester performs even the king sits to listen

[☄️ project hail nat🛰️ @sunsfl0werss]

the earth hacky sack currently at $8000 we never stood a chance

[Marvel Updates @MarvelsContent]

#SpiderMan Brand New Day without context

[Veggie @bigboybokchoy]

The reason you’re unhappy is that you haven’t found the right thing to buy. There’s something out there you can purchase that will make this all go away

[Erik Anderson @AwardsWatchErik]

The Sheep Detectives (2026)

[Brad Bain @thebradbain]

ok, sure why not

[📟 @neofl0wer]

Hold on bae I’m tryna spell the odeci

[iana murray @ianamurray]

odysseus stopping at his 11th dodgy island like ok i’m sure nothing here will kill us this time

[roxy demento @falseroxy]

i think people who say they get diarrhea from taco bell probably have like, zero fiber in their regular diets and eating a bean is like an intestinal 9/11 every time.

[Cohen is a ghost @skullmandible]

"how were people writing 10 page papers before AI???" we were smarter than you. you could've been smart, too. but you sold your brain for nothing

[Fav @Favwontmiss]

YOU KNOW WHAT KEEPS EVERYONE COOLER IN THE SUMMER? TREES, YOU IDIOTS. GIVE US BACK OUR TREES BACK.

[Desean Packson @DeseanPackson]

Sorry man it’s highly unlikely I drop another huge piece of sausage

[spooky liz 🎃 @lizaboth]

It’s so crazy to me that the price of everything just keeps increasing and the quality keeps decreasing and there’s nothing anybody can do about it

[Very Awesome, Normal Person. @loveandlightok]

first i’ve heard of it, glad she kept it low-key

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

Have you noticed that liberal justices suddenly call unborn babies ‘people with full rights’ the moment the topic changes from abortion to immigration?