ram dass deadnamer

never peed in a pool, never stuck chewed gum under a table, always returned my shopping carts

[yosoymario @yosoymario91]

You are depressed because your ancestors fought and danced and ate meals together and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

You never know which neighbors are setting their trash cans out by the curb & just going back to whatever they were doing without washing their hands

[Sunk Cost Pharisee @Liamjsm]

Black don’t crack

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

Hey would you please lie for me if this company I’m trying to work for calls you?

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

@jordysue42 One of the first things I noticed about her is how she sounds slow.

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

Nowhere in the fruit of the spirit is “excuse all stupidity” listed, so you can get a little mad

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

Marines be like

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

Happy november 10th everyone we did it

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

Two dudes in Home Depot were stinking so bad in the aisle we had to be on, I grabbed a saw blade and started fanning my face. Then they started talking to us and pointing up. Stinky people love to raise their arms.

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

POV: You’re the slaughterhouse employee who swings the kill hammer when a wigger pig with a fresh fade comes down the conveyer belt and looks at you like this. Can you do it?

[Joseph 🕊️ @CaudilloXIV]

New York before the Islamic revolution

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

You know what I’m thinking though (it would be a disaster if that sharia law implementing dweeb won)

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

“Once again, you’re dumber than I thought”, I say, reading tweets about the nyc mayoral race.

What’s cool about this tweet is that regardless of which side you’re on, you can agree with it.

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

I pretend I can’t skip the M.A.S.H. intro because that way it feels like I’m in my childhood home again watching TV Land.

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

Nothing makes me want to never go out again and start a family quite like going out on Halloween.

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

Driving through Wyoming and all I can think of is Meet the Deedles

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

My husband is too young to understand the Nike commercial reference in Scary Movie 2.

[ram dass deadnamer @siege_a_pea]

@GrrrbichJR Black looks extra cool

[charlotte @femaleuncle]

I don’t really care I have other shit going on

[pearl quarter @Towelheady]

if i found out my therapist wears pashminas i think i would want my money back

[mere @merestromb]

Pusch & Nguyen law firm broke up and Pusch replaced Nguyen with someone named Wynne so he could keep the pun? How are we supposed to believe in true love anymore?????