Silmar

[Kyle 🚄 @KyleTrainEmoji]

PICARD: Data, shields up

DATA: Brilliant! Shields can reduce damage we sustain. Not immunity. Not hubris. Just prudence. It's not precaution—it's strategy.

[camera shakes]

WORF: HULL BREACHES ON NINE DECKS

DATA: Here's what happened: you told me to raise shields, and I didn't

[holden m. accountable @noahpasaran]

ME: fuck, this spreadsheet is going to be unreadable

ENENTARZI (Sumerian accountant whose soul is imprisoned in my Excel program): O great scribe, by the blessing of Nadu, perhaps a pivot table?

ME: hey thanks man

ENENTARZI: Truly this afterlife is a wondrous and blessed one

[Jake Browne @jakeformayor]

Total unique printings of Magic cards in the first twenty five years of the game: 35,656

In the last five years: 42,065

[Princess — Crr ; AFFC 🐦‍⬛ @Unohanabbygirl]

This being the synopsis of every theon pov in acok

[turbomander @turbomander]

the most powerful wizard in all the land: i am here to save you, you poor fool of a king. your mind is being poisoned
my trusted advisor grimey snakelips: we cannot trust him, my lord. send him away
me (not listening + playing games on my tablet): youre right grimey

[David Sun @arcticinstincts]

POV: The year is 7557 B.C. in the Andes mountains of Peru 🇵🇪. Locals have recently domesticated the potato 🥔. You are a proto-Quechua man who has a mutation for higher copy numbers of the AMY1 gene for more amylase enzyme in saliva. You digest starchy potato diets more efficiently than other dudes and are thus more energetic & nourished looking. The local Peruvian girls notice your exceptional stamina. You are about to experience natural selection 🥰

https://t.co/8yKTlcqGap

[S1apSh0es @S1apSh0es]

Andor did something to me that no other Star Wars film ever could: they made me actually HATE the empire. Before they were just nebulous bad guys, but in Andor they became an oppressive violent force that exerted their authority just because they could and I wanted them to lose like never before.

[Aurora @Aurora_un]

Esto es como si Zhukov te viniera en 1945 y te dijera que el poder de la bomba atómica es insignificante en comparación al materialismo dialectico

[Hipólita of the Lily Tribe 🏳️‍⚧️ 🇦🇷☭ @its_hipolita]

The fact that the wild shit that happens at around 0:32 caught me by surprise means I am not yet Chinese enough.

[wanye @xwanyex]

I’m sorry, I know this bums a lot of you out, because you’ve built your personality on being to pro-market, pro-technology guy, but technology is just very clearly making us less happy

[Bovril-Gesellschaft @BovrilG]

I go on Facebook once a year to check who still wishes me happy birthday. A few years ago I read a fascinating book on the Congolese Civil War, started looking up militia commanders who’d been interviewed, realised they all had Facebook accounts and started sending them friend requests so for a couple of years now I’ve received more happy birthday wishes from Congolese warlords than university friends.

[Nissehatt @hekwoys]

Under-remarked that it was the Catalogue of Ships. The guy wanted to be buried wrapped in his favorite Bronze Age spreadsheet. Autism pioneer. I kneel

[TFG87 @TFG870]

Put it in the Louvre

[Operation Ivy🍂🦌 @0h_it_Ivy]

I need everyone to check out this link ASAP this is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever read
https://t.co/tffFMVp9YA

[Jonas Čeika @Jonas_Ceika]

I sent ChatGPT an audio file of a series of FART sound effects and asked what it thinks of "my music" and this is what it said

[Jebus @Jebus]

Boomers be giving life advice like

[Albert Gil 📕 @LarryAlbertGil]

Aitana Bonmatí representa tot el que el Barça i Catalunya hauria de representar: valors com el civisme, catalanisme i ser filla d'un membre d'una organització terrorista.

[Chapin @Chapinc]

You want me to be physically present at a meeting in the office? Like the Ayatollah?