WILD: #Bengals legend Chad Johnson used to call his coaches at two in the morning to tell them “I’M OPEN.”
“You know I used to call him & Marvin in the middle of the night. Coach, I'm open & hang up”
“I used to get those calls at 2 o'clock in the morning
Things the Democrats didn’t clap for:
A child cancer survivor
Planting a flag on Mars
Fighting crime
Helping working families
Catching terrorists
Destroying the cartels
The only thing the Democrats did clap for:
Ukraine
Things that are in:
-Lifting weights
-Dive bars
-Hailee Steinfeld
-Shane Gillis
-When a special needs kid scores a basket on Senior Night
-“American Girl” by Tom Petty
-Having sleepovers with girls you don’t feel the need to wear a condom with
-Encouraging little kids to punch bullies in the face
Things that are out:
-Nightclubs
-Bailing on dates
-Being insecure
-Wasting time and energy chasing random girls who aren’t wife material
-White people who code-switch when they’re with black people (psychotic)
-Speaking negatively about girls you’ve hooked up with
-Treating customer service employees badly