CladbyWande

[Dura,coco money🎀 @ms0nigghaz]

I was actually one of the nurses on duty that day, and I can confirm every word. In fact, the moment she walked into the labor ward, we immediately realized this wasn’t going to be like every other delivery we’d spent years training for. We threw away the fetal monitor, the partograph, the blood pressure cuff, the IV cannula, the emergency trolley, and every obstetrics textbook because, as it turns out, all those things were completely unnecessary.

She simply walked to the bed, looked at the baby and said, “Come out.” The baby respectfully complied within minutes. No contractions to monitor, no cervical examinations, no assessment of fetal position, no concern about the size of the baby or the mother’s pelvis. Apparently none of that has ever mattered. We have all been wasting our time.

Immediately after the delivery, the hospital called an emergency meeting. Every obstetrician, midwife, anesthetist and pediatrician was informed that decades of medical training had been based on misinformation. We have now concluded that prolonged labor, obstructed labor, postpartum hemorrhage, shoulder dystocia, eclampsia, emergency C-sections and maternal mortality only happen because women failed to renew their gym memberships.

We’ve also contacted medical schools worldwide to remove Obstetrics & Gynecology from their curriculum. Future doctors will no longer learn about parity, cervical dilation, fetal distress, induction of labor, breech presentation, placenta previa, uterine rupture, or any of those outdated concepts. The only lecture remaining is “Stay Fit and Tell the Baby to Come Out.”

We’ve gone a step further and written to the World Health Organization, ACOG, RCOG and every maternity hospital across the globe to stop wasting resources on labor wards. Apparently the solution to childbirth has been sitting in a gym all along.

On behalf of every doctor, nurse, midwife, researcher, and every woman who has ever experienced a difficult or traumatic labor, we sincerely apologize for not realizing sooner that childbirth is actually a fitness competition. Thank you, sir, for correcting centuries of medical science with one tweet. We are forever indebted to you.

[DON “Tobechukwu” Ade 👑 @Row_Haastrup]

Nobody has still been able to give a satisfactory answer…

Who is he & what does he do to amass such amount of wealth?

[GodLogic_GL @GodLogic_GL]

Muhammad leads you to Hell, Christ leads you to eternal life.

[kamikaze @VidvesiHanta]

Everything is haram except bombing and killing

[fortune yongosi @fortuneyongosi8]

If i dey owe person wetin i dey owe my sister i for don dey trend

[Ìléríolúwa @Ilerioluwakiye_]

Family will always be everything no matter what you are going through. Her coming forward to support her sister and doing all this while grieving her late husband will definitely mean a lot to Teni.

[Christian Tweets @JesusSavesUs777]

Amen!

[Mindset🗝️ @Mindset_Post]

Terrorist killed more than 20 innocent citizens in Zamfara State and everywhere is quiet?

[his excellency @segosco]

i really want to understand the thought process here, because how does that make any sense? the groom’s mother gets a free pass to use physical violence, but the person being attacked is expected to just stand there, stay quiet & accept it all in the name of respecting elders?

there is absolutely no justification for physical abuse, no matter who does it. & whoever is foolish enough to start a physical attack shouldn’t suddenly start playing the victim when the other person reacts.

what kind of useless mother in-law slaps her son’s wife over food at a wedding in the first place? what happened to speaking to her husband to address the issue, or handling the situation like an adult? putting your hands on someone because you’re angry doesn’t make you right, it just shows a complete lack of self-control & judgement.

some of you have internalised abuse so much that you've normalised violence just because the person doing it is older. respect is earned, & respect is also not a licence to abuse people.

[Mindset🗝️ @Mindset_Post]

Today marks exactly 71 days Since Terrorist abducted 42 innocent students in Borno State

[Àshàké(not Ololade)❤️ @Molayoo_]

I fit tell you say I like dark skinned men, make you later see me with light skinned men.

I’m not a woman of my word.
Na who treat me right be my person😂🤲🏾

[🥷 @_iamhabeeb]

fast chargers will always have a special place in my heart

[Brittnie Brent @BrentBritt58901]

Yesterday in Nigeria 💔

[angeltbh @notyourhom60332]

Bring back telling kids to leave the room when adults are having adult conversations.

[CLARA | FASHION STORE IN LAGOS @claracrocs]

This vanity 🥺🥺🥺🥺 >>>>>>

[tegaebi @tega_ebi]

the Books app on iPhone is the best application Apple has ever designed.

[🍞 @eternalbread_]

Even IMAMS are coming to Christ! The eyes of Muslims are being opened to the truth Hallelujah 🙌

[Instablog9ja @instablog9ja]

US Congressman John James calls for immediate release of IPOB leader Nnamdi Kanu, citing human rights violations and Christian p£rsecution in Nigeria

[Sean @ChristIsComing5]

WHO ELSE CAN ADMIT THAT ITS ONLY BY GOD’S GRACE AND MERCY THAT YOU ARE STILL HERE TODAY???

[Catholic Arena @CatholicArena]

This is Deborah Samuel

Hundreds of Muslim men dragged her from her room,stoned her and set her on fire because they accused her of criticising Islam

They recorded the murder and laughed as they killed her

Western journalists mostly ignored the story because she was a Christian