Simon Un

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

"I hate how girls use 'Daddy' as a sexual thing"
"well what would you use?"
"Potato"
#relatable

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

@libbyhur gatorade commercial?

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

when you have a comma in your bank account

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

it's funny watching two men from different ethnic backgrounds try to converse in English

[кคtє @k_deeg3]

If this isn't #goals idk what is

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

@k_deeg3 the similarity is uncanny

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

my pee smells like fireball - cinnamon

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

Me talking to a 1st grader: Shots are scary and painful
1st grader: No they make me feel happy and ticklish
These kids be on some drugs man

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

#NationalChampionship
#SorryUNC

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

this weather and this lit assignment got me like https://t.co/3hzYQwMSaJ

[Complex Bets @ComplexBets]

Watch @shanemcmahon give the Air Jordan XXX its most memorable moment: https://t.co/6rHBPBTrC0

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

I hate this weather
If Mother Nature walked into my room right now, shit would go down

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

First day of skateboardin I ate shit
twas not fun
at least no one saw me embarrass myself

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

@k_deeg3 buy me one kthx

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

summary of my day: I met Bobby Flay and a bird flew into my back as I was going to throw the trash out

[Simon Un @simon_un9]

The definition of binge-watchjng netflix: my dad is on season 7 ep 16 of HIMYM in one week (oh yeah I got him on HIMYM)