Simon Chard

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

Finally some good news in the world.

[Test Match Special @bbctms]

World Champions Australia thrashed by Pakistan in 2nd ODI in Adelaide.

Pakistan 169/1, winning by 9 wickets with 23 overs to spare.

Saim Ayub with 82 after @HarisRauf14 had taken 5/29.

We’ll have commentary on the decider Sunday morning.

https://t.co/HpiDQvkfdl

#bbccricket

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

I wonder if they'll mention this on the podcasts.

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

Went to IKEA this morning after something specific. They didn't have it, but we spent £177 on other stuff so that's ok.

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

I would pay good money for my child to get breakfast at breakfast club.

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

I attended a conference on sinkholes. The opening cenote talk was excellent!

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

There are two types of swimming pool changing rooms: "Hey, come on in!" and "TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES NOW OR WE WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY!"

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

@clhubes This is horrible. That comma ought to be a semicolon.

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

"You want a website? Sure, I'll make you a good one. Oh wait, it's for a leisure centre you say? Ok got it. Would you like it to be bad or completely unusable?"

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

Achievement unlocked: get out of the fucking house.

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

Jofra!

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

@bbctms @MAWood33 @TrentBridge @jimmy9 That's it. Now the England men's cricket team will always be younger than me.

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

Went to Lord's and watched Jimmy Anderson in his final test!

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

fuck yeah

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

The election result is all well and good, but what does it mean for England's chances in the Ashes?

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

@amateuradam And you look like shit..

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

@Burge5k They could benefit from the national feel good factor after the team's amazing performance.

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

Shit, if they lose this game the Tories might lose the election.

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

I'm still not sure who to vote for. Let's watch this debate.

[Simon Chard @simonchard]

Eastleigh is at war with Oceania. Eastleigh is at war with East Asia.

[Stephen Bush @stephenkb]

Ok, I was wrong. THIS is my favourite chart about the last 14 years of British politics: https://t.co/kCpv9Z8MSH