Simone Livolsi

[alecbenjamin @AlecBenjamin]

college is prolly one of the biggest scams in history

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

"Thank you, but fuck you for being there"

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Watch to the end.

[alecbenjamin @AlecBenjamin]

guess my house is a prison

and im never gunna get out

[alecbenjamin @AlecBenjamin]

oh my god

i can’t remember

who i wuz

before corona

[JustNoMIL @JustNoMIL1]

MIL thinks I cheated on my husband because we’re having a girl (tw: physical assault)

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

That feel good moment when you go to your old workplace and the new girl says "oh! You're the simone everyone talks about!"
Yay :)

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

@AlecBenjamin BRING BACK PAPER CROWN😭😭😭 I always get teary eyed singing to it and I NEED IT BACK PLEASE ALEC a new version for your new album? Even sadder? aNYTHING

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

Why is Instagram doing so many weird things lately

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

"Irresponsible ejaculations by men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancies."

[Gabrielle Blair @designmom]

I’m a mother of six, and a Mormon. I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. I've been listening to men grandstand about women's reproductive rights, and I'm convinced men actually have zero interest in stopping abortion. Here's why…

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

@sarmouski1 No but to my sister so, disrespect her you disrespect me, thanks love ❤

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

When you go to court for assault charges, and then proceed to degrade your ex girlfriend(that you had assaulted) in Instagram hashtags. Clearly you have not grown up yet and you've shown how pathetic you are! :)

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

Gonna cook some food with Dwayne 'the pan' Johnson 😂❤ @TheRock

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

I will be mad about this for ages

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

Following up, said disrespectful man pissed on AND broke my couch, threw beer cans all over my living room causing beer to go all over the walls, and also threw up on my bumper. No words can describe how angry I am.

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

I will never ever respect a disrespectful man, no matter who they are.

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

ME: and how much oregano do I put in at this point

GRANDMA: oh I've been making this for 30 years, I never measure it. You just have to go by feel :)

ME: Listen the fuck up you old bat, I've been making this for 30 seconds; I don't feel shit. Tell me how much goddamn oregano

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

All I hear is ringing ringing ringing ringing......ringing.....

[Simone Livolsi @simonelivolsi]

Worked a 14 hour day today, and the longest part of my night was waiting at the Carson street stoplight to go home.
(which I ended up running lol)