simon 🕷️

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

I don’t believe in the supernatural but something weird definitely happens to people’s brains when they get behind the wheel of a Prius 🙄

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

How did the McDonald’s drive thru person know how to pronounce my name?

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

Why does every Prius driver behave like it’s their first day on Earth? 💔

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

@1rrivi Might be the smartest tweet in history

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

Someone opened the door for me right when my AirPods were reading a text and this bitch Siri thought I said “thank you” to her 😒

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

This how lifting feels when you haven’t eaten all day

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

I got new AirPods and noise cancelling is so peaceful, I feel like my mind can finally rest. Is this ADHD?

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

15 minute group presentation in 2 days, both of my group mates haven’t touched the slideshow yet 🫠

[Carson Breber @Carsobi]

For this Halloween, I'm gonna pretend to be... happy?

Damn. Huh. Yeah. I think that might be the most powerful choice I could make... turning this silly holiday into something... meaningful.

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

They told me I wouldn’t be able to get away with not studying forever #yesthefuckican

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

1-3 am is really my prime time and I can’t help that

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

I love fall/winter so much man it’s so easy to lock in

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

I think if I had a regular sleep schedule it would fix literally everything in my life

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

Accidents happen 🤷🏻‍♂️

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

My net sales tonight were $1,666 and it made me think of you 😔

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

Still doing this btw

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

I’m so addicted to marvel rivals that I’ll be at work or at school and I’m looking around my surroundings looking for points that I could web swing from

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

If Adele is doing the halftime show and the Packers make it to the Super Bowl I’m pulling up

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

I read one hundred chapters of Dandadan today

[simon 🕷️ @simoneymoves]

11:11 make a wish!