simon.j.king

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

I can’t believe I have to say this, but please don’t drink bleach.

[simon.j.king @simonking95]

Absolutely mental

[The Guardian @guardian]

Trump rally crowd chants "Send her back!" after president attacks Ilhan Omar. It follows Trump’s racist tweets targeting Omar and three other congresswomen of colour.

Public figures and politicians pledged their support for Omar using #IStandWithIlhan https://t.co/8Qzk4viuF8

[simon.j.king @simonking95]

@actwithoutdoing @NME @alwayssunny @georbroo

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Trump claims controversial comments about Russia were a slip of the tongue – which is how Piers Morgan secured his presidential interview.

[simon.j.king @simonking95]

Is there an appropriate way to tell a woman in my hostel that nobody wants to hear her shit ukulele-accompanied rendition of Space Oddity?

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Mason jars with a handle or wine stem cause me to lose faith in humanity

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Live scenes as the Tories try to recruit younger party members with a Nando’s discount card:

[simon.j.king @simonking95]

Accidentally buying sparkling instead of still is a day-ruiner

[simon.j.king @simonking95]

the lights in this are fucking mind-blowing
https://t.co/wxkYM9mLcI

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Trump lawyer Ty Cobb quits to focus on his fried chicken business:

[simon.j.king @simonking95]

Ye has lost his marbles again https://t.co/Gno91iNpSi

[Henry Fraser @henryfraser0]

I can stand better than this lot. https://t.co/QbkSR3X69a

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

When grandpa's telling the same stories again and you can't get him off the phone

[simon.j.king @simonking95]

Stripped vocals sorts the wheat from the chaff https://t.co/WIyRFgEYPO

[paige @clrmontreyqs]

if you've never watched b99 before and this scene alone doesn't make you want to then what is wrong with you

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Jane’s been out all day at the hospital having an operation and now I’ve got to go there with my chauffeur to collect her because she can’t walk. Do I have to fucking do everything?

[James Blunt @JamesBlunt]

If she was your girlfriend she was probably blind as well. https://t.co/OUUhwrkcQO

[Seth Rogen @Sethrogen]

Sliding in to @DonaldJTrumpJr DMs to remind him his father is a sexual predator like: