Melissa Simon

If you offer me coffee or waffles I will follow you anywhere. I would be pretty easy to kidnap.

[Melissa Simon @simonlex]

Collections of same sex couple salt and pepper shakers are a thing, right?

[Melissa Simon @simonlex]

I have just left calls for both my senators to join the move to impeach Trump. I am more afraid of dying from the fallout from WW3 than from breast cancer. I hate this man more than having breast cancer. For fucking sake why and how are we at this place in history?

[Melissa Simon @simonlex]

It's weird having imposter syndrome about having cancer when it's stage 0. Like I know I'm sick but it's a strange feeling to like to have to remind myself. And I know I am one of the luckier ones but it still makes me pause all the time.

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

Kristi Noem wants us to pray for her now?

The heartless, evil, dog killing bitch who wouldn’t apologize to the families of Renee Good and Alex Pretti?

She wants us to pray for her because her cuck of a husband got caught wearing women’s clothes?

Yeah, I don’t fucking think so.

[Wholesome @wholesome_X_]

The way that last lady stood up I knew she was about to bring it 😂😂 this absolutely made my day! ❤️🫶🤣

[Melissa Simon @simonlex]

I really need Facebook to come up with some reactions icons like yesterday but will take for the time being the much needed separation of space between the care and the raucous laughter icon. Those are too easy to select when you don't mean to. My anxiety can't take it any more.

[Melissa Simon @simonlex]

So we finally got around to cleaning out the cars and we had the kids help us as the majority of the list fries, sucker sticks and cookie crumbs belong to them. Plus one of our cats has a cold.

[Wolf of X @WolfofX]

She just wanted to chill in the rain, but ended up making a new friend..

[Melissa Simon @simonlex]

I listen to the news, I see so many awful things that I have no idea on how they could be happening. My soul is heavy and my heart breaks every damn day. I think all the time that as a country and as human beings that we are seriously fucking everything up.

[Buitengebieden @buitengebieden]

Legend says they’re still looking for the ball.. 😂

[Jay Mewes @JayMewes]

That's how we did it in the 90s son!

#90s #90skid

[Kosher @koshercockney]

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

[Gabriele Corno @Gabriele_Corno]

This mas was fishing then he saw a baby sea otter being wrapped alive...

[aka @akafaceUS]

An elderly woman held a birthday celebration for her dog, but instead of paying attention to the food, the dog gazed lovingly at her the entire time.

[BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ @mmpadellan]

Obama Timeline cleanse. ❤️

You're welcome. 🙏🇺🇲

[Ronald Agaba Jr 🏳️‍🌈🇺🇬 @ronnieagabajr]

It's not only LGB, but also TIQ+. We all belong. 🤗

[𝕐o̴g̴ @Yoda4ever]

Kindness matters..😊

[muppet music of the week @muppetmusic03]

Mahna Mahna #TheMuppets

[Melissa Simon @simonlex]

But seriously, how is everyone doing??

[This Account Makes You Happy @FeelYouHappy]

This video made my day 🥹❤️