Bobby Buster

A simple man.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@MarshaBlackburn Marsha you need to quit eating babies.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

If jumper cables could talk, would they argue about politics forever before agreeing which terminal is positive — and would your dead car battery sit in the Kroger lot as the ultimate symbol of division until they finally sparked?

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@tedcruz Chill Ced Truz.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@TMZ

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@TMZ Carrot Top?

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@barstoolsports @trulyseltzer @BarstoolClassic

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@BillOReilly @NoSpinNews Bill O’Reilly is so old, he probably still thinks jumper cables are cutting-edge tech… and he smells like shit

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@IngrahamAngle @VP If I was face to face with Laura Ingram I’d probably wish I was blind.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@WSJ Nobody wants to see that shit.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@MarshaBlackburn Marsha you might be a witch. You scary as hell to look at and I know you be boiling potions and shit.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@nypost Reminder that he sucks.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@enews Those lips are a lie.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@FoxNews She looks like an alien. 👽

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@nypost Yeah sureeeee

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@BarackObama Everyone’s worried about gerrymandering, but honestly that’s nothing compared to getting beat with jumper cables. Lines on a map don’t sting nearly as much as metal clamps to the ribs.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@nypost Dabo Sweeny swears white grapes are better than red. Which is fine, but honestly that’s the kind of take that gets you fired for being corny.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@JackPosobiec DC feels Roman with all the columns and marble, but let’s be real… the Romans weren’t even wiping properly. Imagine handing them toilet paper, then flipping a light switch. They’d think Zeus just moved into the bathroom while Ben Franklin got jumper cables on his titties.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

@JackPosobiec Crime in DC is bad, sure, but imagine what Benjamin Franklin would think. The guy flew a kite in a storm. He’d probably just nod, then wonder why jumper cables were on his nipples in the name of science

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

Because no matter how far you stretch philosophy, or how much wisdom you gather from Franklin or even Stalin, nothing prepares you for the memory of getting beat with jumper cables.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

A thread of my thoughts this morning:

I think often about the silence of space. The way it stretches endlessly, not caring if we look up in wonder or look down in fear.

[Bobby Buster @simplemanbobby]

So what do we do with the time we are given. Do we look to the stars for answers or do we anchor ourselves in the gravity of the moment.