s ᴵ ᴹ

Arsenal aficionado who writes pretentious crap on the interwebs. The bantz are frequent and the chill is scarce. Oyster Card Holder, Zones 1-6. #GIFGIFCityBitch

[s ᴵ ᴹ @SimplyEnigmatic]

@spectatorindex @harkiret 🙃

[Dr Christian Jessen @DoctorChristian]

Isn’t this the most stunning picture?!
A lioness and her cub were crossing the savannah; the heat was excessive and the cub was in great difficulty. An elephant realized that the lion cub would die and carried him in his trunk to a pool of water, walking beside his mother. 😍

[Mark Ronson @MarkRonson]

I die 💔💔💔💔 @Camila_Cabello

Presave here: https://t.co/GWkmQWEHTY
Vinyls, 8-tracks + more here: https://t.co/jldqjKqtOm

[schmox @IvoryGazelle]

Teacher: Did your mom sign your permission slip?

Kid: Yep

Teacher: This says you have permission to be the teacher

Kid Teacher: please raise your hand before speaking

[s ᴵ ᴹ @SimplyEnigmatic]

@lefthemisphere9 paying doesn’t guarantee understanding either. i would say learning is rarely about the resource and all about the motivation

1) people work harder when they’ve invested money. (arguably applies less to financed student debt which is less tangible)

2) you do pay for curation

[LADbible @ladbible]

I think my neighbour's dog is bored 😂😂

[KEHLANI STATS @kehlani_stats]

‘’These lyrics couldn’t be more accurate with how I’m feeling with everything in life right now. When things get too serious and too intense just takes the fun, the excitement and the happiness out of it.
Too Deep - @Kehlani 🎧 sis this song is TOO good.‘’ - Nicole Kirkland. 🧡

[s ᴵ ᴹ @SimplyEnigmatic]

@harkiret

[Jack Whitehall @jackwhitehall]

This is the guy who I end up talking to for half an hour in every Wetherspoons I’ve ever gone in to.

[s ᴵ ᴹ @SimplyEnigmatic]

Completely agree, Diane.

If only James would put his views across on a platform where people could call him and debate him directly.

[Diane MW 🇬🇧🇺🇦🇺🇸 @didoh]

@LBC @mrjamesob I wish someone would pull @mrjamesob apart! I find him absolutely obnoxious and totally unlistenable to! 🙉

[s ᴵ ᴹ @SimplyEnigmatic]

@LBC @mrjamesob @DominicRaab

[LBC @LBC]

James O'Brien takes a look at Tory leadership hopeful Dominic Raab's interviews and pulls them apart one-by-one.

@mrjamesob

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

-Sunday evening-

Brain: “Back to school tomorrow and you haven’t done your homework”

You: “I’m an adult”

Brain: “Let’s worry about it anyway”

[Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott]

DAD: please help find my daughter

DETECTIVE: what does she look like

DAD: [scrolling thru 9,674 selfies of her with snapchat filters] I D... I DON'T KNOW

[Jess Phillips @jessphillips]

My Dad doesn’t get that we don’t respond to idiots at Spiked and we definitely don’t give two hoots about what Brendan O’Neil thinks, my heart sank earlier when he called to say he’d sent them an email. But I thought I’d share it with you, it’s the most my Dad letter ever.

[The Darkest Timeline Numbersmuncher @NumbersMuncher]

Me after clicking on #FakeMelania thinking there was nothing to it