Simpsons Quotes

I watch Simpsons a lot. When I hear something funny, I'll post it here

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

"Maybe your movie star banks are opened crazy hours, but we in Springfield are simple folk. We like our cars fast, and our banks closed"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Barney: "Uh-oh! Someone smells stinky!" *sniffs* "Oh, it's me."

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Bart: "Take him away boys"
Chief Wiggum: "Hey I'm the chief here. Bake him away, toys!"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Marge: "Bart! Leave that crowbar here, you know I don't like you prying and jimmying"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Teacher: "Skinner says the teachers will crack any minute, purple monkey dishwasher!"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Moe: "Big deal, you got a wife! I got a rash! Who cares?"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Bart: "If you love it so much, why are you always littering?" Homer: "It's easier, durr."

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Bart: "Actually, we were just planning the father-son river rafting trip"
Homer: "Heh heh, you don't have a son. "

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Homer (as Krusty): "But when I see the smile on their little faces... I just know they're about to jab me with something"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Homer: "It's time to tell you the facts of life. Do you know what a boob is?" Bart: "Oh yeah." Homer: "Good. That'll save us some time."

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Marge: "You could donate the money to the orphanage. I hear they need a new wall"
Orphan: "Three is not enough *coughs*"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Moe: "Homer, please! I got a nuclear-type question here."
Homer: "Well, it all starts when a nulecule comes out of its nest..."

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Mrs Bouvier: "I swear Monty, you're the devil himself!" Mr Burns: "I.. WHO TOLD YOU?! Oh, ho ho, I, yes well..."

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

SVT: "The computer says the movie Chocolate Star Wars doesn't exist"
Homer: "I say YOU don't exist!"
SVT: "No I'm right here under staff"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Homer: "I understand kids. I'm not a bath man myself. More of a cologne man. "

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Homer: "Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Burns: "Did I say corpse hatch? I meant innocence tube!"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

"Let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid schemes you've been hearing about. No sir. Our model is the trapezoid!"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Brain: "Use reverse psychology" Homer: "Oh, that sounds too complicated!" Brain: "OK, don't use reverse psychology" Homer: "ALRIGHT I WILL"

[Simpsons Quotes @simpsonstweets]

Skinner: "So, you know what osmosis is?" Bart: "Err.. pyjamas?"