ਪਟੋਲਾ

BA JD future kabaddi player

[ً @ImAVeteran_]

I’ll be like “I needed that laugh” and it’ll be something I said

[Lex Apro @hannaehwrites]

Coming back from vacation to discover my company is “restructuring” and I’m not in the structure.

[☽ maxxy🔮♏️ @maxxytrillion]

trisha paytas is consistently the perfect example of how being right too early makes you look crazy

[vibe rater @esssspresso]

annoyed at my husband so im going fast over the speed bumps while he’s in the passenger seat. get bounced idiot

[the hat man @1000dollarcrab]

sorry i cant come in to work today ethan klein cheated on his wife and i have to be on the internet all day for that

[onanist @expiskin]

40mg of adderall and a dream

[charlotte is in swan lake 🦢 @mirrorballmais]

how are they gonna reboot a show that had a kid turn to god after making a grilled cheese that resembled jesus christ, and then used said grilled cheese as a genie to grant wishes so he could touch his girlfriends boobs instead of saving his friends dads life…?

[gaby 𐙚⋆ @buddieish]

just tried to explain to my friend who didn’t watch glee that she was throwing this tantrum because principal figgins wouldn’t let her put brittany inside of a cannon and send her flying through the air

[minion blaine 🍂 @joekitcriss]

will becky and her gun make a reappearance or no?

[🔻KARLI TRACKMARX🔻 @AlQasswag]

self medicating is ok if you’re smarter than every doctor like i am

[East Village Guy @eastvillageguy]

You ever leave a social situation like hmmm not my best work

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

Job applications asking “May we contact your current employer?”

GIRL NO????? I'm trying to leave quietly, not announce my escape. 😭

[rose @roramdin]

They should offer self euthanasia through the McDonald’s app

[erin chack @ErinChack]

My date of birth feels like a celebrity to me. Whenever I see it written somewhere random, like on a movie poster or a milk carton, I'm like omg there she is! Ugh, she looks great :)

[xan @lilxan1k]

i bet driving into a tree feels good as fuck

[B @brrittanyt]

What if the referendum results are in Jagmeet’s bag

[Hoodville @Hoodville_]

When you arguing with someone online and see that they lost custody of their kids

[Pastor Kyle. @itsqail]

The T in Ticketmaster stands for terrorist organization

[C.D.O 🦅 @bigblissfx]

I heard someone say “I don’t feel like myself lately, I must be growing” what a beautiful perspective for uncomfortable seasons.