yéff

mamba 8/24

[Murray Hill Guy @MurrayHillGuy1]

Millennials, it's time to choose your midife crisis

1. Date a 23 year old
2. Quit drinking and become insufferable about it
3. Double down on drinking
4. Train for a marathon nobody asked about
5. Have a panic baby (with wife you hate)
6. "We're opening the relationship" (she bangs)
7. Get divorced
8. Get diagnosed with adult ADHD/autism
9. Niche side quests like rock climbing, hyrox, gardening, handstands

[scha·den·freu·de  @BlisterPearl]

The United States has no universal healthcare, but we DO have 49 private insurance billionaires.

[lychee @smalldollla]

I’m Californian before I’m American

[Masoud Pezeshkian @drpezeshkian]

To the people of the United States of America

[𝓜𝓲𝓶𝓲 @CosmixBvns]

Date idea: we buy Pokemon cards and open them together while we watch the first Pokemon movie all over again

[radiant 🔻 @radiantzard]

What I've learned after 1,400 soft resets during my Shiny Charmander hunt! :)

1. i am going to kill someone

[yéff @singdajeffsong]

@meishato the biggest part of the problem at the moment is yes while there is problems on both sides, There are no bids of connection to try to truly lift each us up. We keep pointing fingers at both sides and for each others mistakes. We are supposed to make progress TOGETHER not apart

[定 @de3dsoul]

could be us

[No Context Cats @nocontextscats]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Todo @kjtodo]

Day 4 in Japan

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

Okay fine, I’ll buy Tik Tok so it doesn’t get banned

[Shuriken @ShurikenTrade]

Want to steal 50 million dollars?

Well, the Hawk Tuah girl did.

She launched a coin, rugged it, and then shamelessly went to sleep like nothing happened.

Here's how Hawk Tuah stole $50M from her fans 🧵

[yéff @singdajeffsong]

Stepped into the dating pool for like two seconds and I’m already reminded why I don’t date

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Impressive AAA game from China!

Seems oddly familiar 😂

[Getlucky @Getlucky12341]

They just showed adult Poof in the new Fairly OddParents reboot!!!!

[Todo @kjtodo]

100K :)