$iri the Teenage Witch

Great job, everybody.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

A friend said "we want to show our daughter how beautiful the world is". I feel the same way. That's why I feed my dog potato chips.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

Unless this is taken care of, I will never fly @AmericanAir again. And I recommend that if you plan to travel, just go with Delta. I cannot believe I’ve had so many issues on a simple trip to Wisconsin.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

Never fly @AmericanAir . On Friday evening at 10pm my flight from Dallas to Madison was cancelled and I couldn’t get a flight out until 10:30am. I was given no hotel voucher, no cab fare, nothing to makeup for it.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

@AmericanAir I need compensation for this disastrous weekend. I’ve done nothing wrong and your failure to take care of your planes has cost me money and time. This should have been a simple trip and you’ve added a full 24 hours on to my travel.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

My mom just referred to her bra as an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

@cullenryanwisco Wholesome Nightmare Fuel.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

Zoom with middle schoolers is a hellmouth but I’m on spring break, drunk, floating in a pool on a giant slice of pizza, and I’ve never been this close to god.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

Happy Women’s History Month! Today my 60 year old male coworker told me I look tired when I don’t wear makeup.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

@TrevorDowd @GovAbbott @tedcruz Why would you move next door to your bully?

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

When you see Texans come out of the other side of this, know that it has nothing to do with @GovAbbott and @tedcruz . We’re taking care of each other.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

@TrevorDowd @GovAbbott @tedcruz WUT

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

.@tedcruz flew to Cancun while my husband and I spent 85 hours without power in our home. Some of that we slept in our car. So many are still without power and we’re all rationing food and water. I can’t look at Ted Cruz memes because this shit just isn’t funny.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

Hi I’m back and I’m cold and I’m mad at every every decision maker in Texas.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

I know I said I was done with Twitter, but Gordon Ramsay slowly pulling off fake facial hair on 24 Hours to Hell and Back is the most disgusting thing on TV and I have no one to talk to about it.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

Twitter is a garbage place that makes me feel like sad garbage and I won’t be going on it anymore. Find me on Instagram: siriousbusiness. I post pictures of my dogs and photoshop my sister’s face onto fast food.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

@wisniear Is. This. Real.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

I House Managed the @nicolebyer show tonight and LET ME TELL YOU. I love love looooove working shows of people I’m a fan of and I love it even more when they turn out to be great people. Didn’t get to talk to her but I overheard her talking to students and she was so kind.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

@TacitTaciturn Paper crown and a pocket full of bird head.

[$iri the Teenage Witch @siriously]

Both of my parents helped me baked bread over the phone tonight.