Sad Sack

My jokes are about as well received as a birthday gift from a step dad.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

I came back to Twitter because I realized that I wasn’t saying, “Holy shit, what a dumbfuck,” enough throughout the average day.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

People are shockingly retarded, including myself. I once had a friend try to argue with me for hours about how he thought motorcycles were just as safe as cars. Brother, it’s an untenable position. Just say you kinda wanna die and move on. Anyway, RIP to a good friend.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

When is RFK Jr. finally gonna get rid of all this fluoride in the water and replace it with HGH?

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

You would not believe how hard it is to sell used anal beads on Craigslist. People just don’t know a good deal when they see one anymore.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

Idk, maybe I should look for an ethnofascist. Don’t wanna discriminate.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

Parkour is just gymnastics for guys with
ADHD.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

Why does it feel like giant companies are competing to see who can lay off the most people?

“Oh, you booted 530? Those are rookie numbers. Watch this. *Torches 2000 people* Pretty cool, huh?” - Microsoft

#eatshitSatyaNadella

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

@amuse Maybe he should have actually told them the answer after they guessed instead of highlighting how bad his own school is. Running back and forth never made anyone smarter lol

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

Do you think Guy Fieri screams, “LET’S GO TO FLAVR TOWN,” every time he goes down on a woman?

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

Do you think short people live longer because there’s less chance of injury from a 3 foot fall?

#science

[Lex Fridman @lexfridman]

The drums of a World War are beating. Beware of the military industrial complex and the warmongers who exploit tragedy to advocate for more war. A global war would lead to immeasurable suffering.

Diplomacy, conversation between leaders is the way out ❤

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

I personally have a hard time believing that “living your best life” involves showing your asshole to strangers on the internet, but what do I know?

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

Angel Soft is a really ironic name for toilet paper that makes you bleed out the ass.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

Hey, everyone in Missouri.

You know there are drinks other than Busch Light, right?

Maybe try a glass of water just once.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

So, the Department of Homeland Security created a board for propaganda in the middle of a proxy war. What’s the big deal? They’re just fighting disinformation, guys.

[Sad Sack @SirTeeeeeJ]

Fuck Elon Musk! Free speech is the worst! I want Jack Dorsey to put a ball gag in my mouth and call me a good boy for using the right pronouns!

[Caitlin Johnstone @caitoz]

"Putin must be held accountable for his war crimes," said the empire while imprisoning a journalist for trying to hold it accountable for its war crimes.

[Caitlin Johnstone @caitoz]

Anyone who trusts any government is a fool. Anyone who trusts the world's most powerful government is a damn fool. Anyone who trusts the world's most powerful government while it runs massive propaganda ops for a dangerous proxy war should be forbidden to use grown-up scissors.

[Black in the Empire @blackintheempir]

Zelenskyy is an actor employed by the US to play the role of hero