the average dog

internet sleuth. sweetest boy-in-training. professional misinterpreter. incorrigible know-it-all unapologetically spreading misinformation since '89. #boost

[the average dog @sitchinnn]

Come on in to fleek farm

[the average dog @sitchinnn]

If you thought I came here to have a meaningful discussion with you fucks then I'm just gonna have to 🗣🗣🗣👋🏼

[the average dog @sitchinnn]

I’m gonna start robbing pedi-bars that venture outside downtown for a living.

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

SOME SECULAR SEASONS GREETINGS FOR YOU

-HAPPY HOLIDAYS

-ITS WEIRD THAT AUNT CLAIRE BROUGHT HER BOYFRIEND HONESTLY WHO THINKS THAT GUY IS STILL GONNA BE AROUND IN A YEAR

-THE ONLY GOD LEFT IS BUSINESS AND HIS THRONE IS MADE FROM THE FLESH OF HIS WORSHIPPERS

-JUST A SCREAM

[NPR Politics @nprpolitics]

House Democrats say their first bill after taking power would establish automatic voter registration and reinvigorate the Voting Rights Act. https://t.co/glJw7MeR5e

[[kie.ran] @danblackroyd]

I don't know too many of us who could survive the "crying while talking about how much you love beer" portion of the interview and still get the job.

[Current Affairs @curaffairs]

interrupting and yelling and being rude while sober is one way to prove you are not an aggressive person who might be a worse version of that person while drunk

[John @lowrenders]

if you put two donuts in front of me, and told me one of them was poisoned, i would easily eat both of them without hesitation

[the average dog @sitchinnn]

Uhhh if you’re looking for answers, go talk to the guy nicknamed squee. He didn’t pick that nickname and I’m sure he has some shit to say about all this.

[Andrew Lawrence @ndrew_lawrence]

Tucker Carlson really really really really does not like living in a diverse country

[SooToday.com @SooToday]

ONTARIO: Boater uses fire extinguisher to chase off bear in latest incident: This is the fifth time a black bear has come aboard without asking in a popular northern Ontario yachting spot https://t.co/pKdl3abT2G

[Dr. Mansa Keita @rasmansa]

Sometimes the world works as it should.

[Dr. Mansa Keita @rasmansa]

Richard Spencer stopped doing college tours. Milo is crying that he can barely stay afloat.

To all those who protest, I thank you for your service.

[JD 'Sting from the 1984 motion picture Dune' Faith @JDFaithcomics]

Me as a seven year old: I CANT BELIEVE THE PEOPLE OF KRYPTON WOULD DENY THE PLANET IS EXPLODING. THAT'S STUPID.

Me now, reading the comment section of a climate change article: oh

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Law School Applications Increase Upon Realization That Any Fucking Idiot Can Be Lawyer https://t.co/dgOlfleI3O

[gains @gains_tweets]

what... what happened in Alberta

[Ben Norton @BenjaminNorton]

Yemeni journalists found this fragment of the bomb Saudi Arabia dropped on a school bus full of children in Yemen https://t.co/ooLcwBpMwZ

It's a US-made MK-82 guided bomb, which has been used in previous attacks on Yemeni civilians

The cage code on the bomb is Lockheed Martin's

[the average dog @sitchinnn]

I fuckin hate the fuckin eagles man

[NME @NME]

Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ is no longer the best-selling album of all time in the US https://t.co/60tN9MYByV