Please Sit in the Back

local ride share stories. all true. never exaggerated. cause people are cray.
(podcast under the same name - iTunes & Overcast)

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

welcome. i ride share drive for my dinner. and then tweet about it. cause you can't make this shit up. #pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

rider: i’m 44, how old are you?

me: um, i’m 32

rider: oh, well... i don’t know what advice exactly to give to a young person.

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

rider: WHERE ARE YOU????

me: i just accepted your ride

calm down bianca.

#pleasesitintheback

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

I keep seeing the names “James Charles” and “Tati Westbrook” and I don’t know if these are Game of Thrones characters or candidates running for president, but I do know that we all should be donating to the ACLU and Planned Parenthood.

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

“You’re in your thirties? And not married? How’s that part of life going for you?” - 20 yr old passenger

“Just fine young man. Just fine.”
- my old lady self

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

Z: Tell me what’s exciting about the your life!

Me: I quit my job a year ago to be an actor. I just got cast in a musical.

Z: Sing me a song!

Me: 🎶“You are, my fire. My one desire. Believe. When I say, I want it that way.”🎶

Z: I’m coming to your show.

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

please who leave their text sounds on are the worst kind of people and i hate them.

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

my hope for pedestrians who cross on a red is not for them to get hit.

just a close call ya know?

where they pee a little.
and are too embarrassed to be indignant.

is this really too much to ask?

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

“Do you think I deserve Taco Bell? Tell me honestly. I love you.” - also Katie

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

“Oh my god. You are my favorite human. Jesus mary mother fucking Christ. You are my queen. Thank you for coming to get me.” - Katie

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

me: how’s your day going?

rick: you’ve probably heard it all today!

me: 😒 (just tell me your dumb story)

rick: well. i pissed off a cop. was driving on a suspended license. and my buddy makes the best pico you’ve ever had!

me: 😳 go on....

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

My car is now a mobile hotspot.
Free WiFi for all.
You’re welcome.
So for the love of god would you all sit in the back already.
#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

@alexandra_trees Peasant.

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

Like, if my headphones are in, I obviously don’t want to chat with you. - Me
#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

@Mizz_Hall Thanks @Mizz_Hall !! - sorry I’m just now responding. Was off the twitter for a minute. Glad you enjoyed the podcast!

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

I’m back bishes.
Give a little listen.
Drunk at 4pm.
Her.
Not me.
#pleasesitintheback

https://t.co/LQusC1fyWa

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

It’s Halloween bishes.
Which means everyone is listening to @MyFavMurder
Whether they want to or not.
Deal with it.
#whatwearelisteningto #pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

“Ma’am, what would you call a pizza with only meat and no cheese?”

“Sad.”

But in fairness, Jonas is apparently very lactose intolerant.

So. Sacrifices must be made.

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

Nigel just sang an entire Broadway showtune with me.

And really, that’s all I need to know for us to be best friends.

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

It’s a compliment that people fall asleep in my car right?

Like, it’s the ultimate ‘you are not a creep’ action.

#pleasesitintheback

[Please Sit in the Back @sitintheback]

Selling beer out of the back of your car is bootlegging.

It’s also a felony.

And will cause you to lose your tennis scholarship.

From the small baptist college where your Jewish mother is on the board.

In case you were wondering.

#pleasesitintheback